Friday, October 5, 2012

i'm not cool.

I'm not that cool.  My former college roommates will tell you that.  They had to endure my Jessica Simpson poster, ferret calender, and princess wand dorm room decor.  I had an eclectic style back then. It was embarrassing with a taste of lame.

Then I got a job.  I could afford to be (moderately) cooler.  Then I moved to California.  Oh my gosh.  Skinny jeans.  Boots outside of jeans five years after it was socially acceptable.  Ray bans.  I was cool.  (nope, not really)

THEN I came to Mississippi y'all!  Got fat, had a baby, stopped showering.  Kept brushing my teeth... most days.  One day I tried to do the "ring finger a different color" trend.  My friends were utterly bewildered.  I gave up.  I still wore skinny jeans, though they're more like "sausage" jeans because that's what my legs look like all stuffed into them...

Twinky helped me to online shop.  

THEN I went back to Maryland for a month.  I stared, open mouthed, at what people were wearing.  "What are people wearing?"  Wow.  Out of touch I was.  Don't worry, I have a credit card.  I got my hands on some infinity scarves, some hot purple skinnies, and a color block shirt.  You can all breathe a sigh of relief.

left side. FALSIES!  Right eye, no mascara.  Makes my whole face look lopsided!
Freckles?  Genetics and living in perpetual summertime.  

falsies eye lashes.  so fetch.   

THEN I got obsessed with New Girl, in honor of season 2 I looked up a Zooey Deschanel make up tutorial and bought Maybelline Falsies.  Five bucks at Walmart y'all.  It's a can do!  Then
Nick got back internet access after being in the arctic circle and he said "Stop buying things" so if I start to look uncool we can all blame Nick...
doing the splits to show you my nails, scarf, and skinnies.

I'm 26.  I want to wear purple skinnies while I can!  While it's not desperately sad.  Oh no!  Do I look desperately sad?  What am I saying.  No one could look sad while wearing hot purple jeans!  I want a crazy nail.  There you have it.

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