Then I got a job. I could afford to be (moderately) cooler. Then I moved to California. Oh my gosh. Skinny jeans. Boots outside of jeans five years after it was socially acceptable. Ray bans. I was cool. (nope, not really)
THEN I came to Mississippi y'all! Got fat, had a baby, stopped showering. Kept brushing my teeth... most days. One day I tried to do the "ring finger a different color" trend. My friends were utterly bewildered. I gave up. I still wore skinny jeans, though they're more like "sausage" jeans because that's what my legs look like all stuffed into them...
|Twinky helped me to online shop.|
THEN I went back to Maryland for a month. I stared, open mouthed, at what people were wearing. "What are people wearing?" Wow. Out of touch I was. Don't worry, I have a credit card. I got my hands on some infinity scarves, some hot purple skinnies, and a color block shirt. You can all breathe a sigh of relief.
|left side. FALSIES! Right eye, no mascara. Makes my whole face look lopsided! |
Freckles? Genetics and living in perpetual summertime.
|falsies eye lashes. so fetch.|
THEN I got obsessed with New Girl, in honor of season 2 I looked up a Zooey Deschanel make up tutorial and bought Maybelline Falsies. Five bucks at Walmart y'all. It's a can do! Then
Nick got back internet access after being in the arctic circle and he said "Stop buying things" so if I start to look uncool we can all blame Nick...
|doing the splits to show you my nails, scarf, and skinnies. |