i'm not cool.

I'm not that cool.  My former college roommates will tell you that.  They had to endure my Jessica Simpson poster, ferret calender, and princess wand dorm room decor.  I had an eclectic style back then. It was embarrassing with a taste of lame.

Then I got a job.  I could afford to be (moderately) cooler.  Then I moved to California.  Oh my gosh.  Skinny jeans.  Boots outside of jeans five years after it was socially acceptable.  Ray bans.  I was cool.  (nope, not really)

THEN I came to Mississippi y'all!  Got fat, had a baby, stopped showering.  Kept brushing my teeth... most days.  One day I tried to do the "ring finger a different color" trend.  My friends were utterly bewildered.  I gave up.  I still wore skinny jeans, though they're more like "sausage" jeans because that's what my legs look like all stuffed into them...

Twinky helped me to online shop.  

THEN I went back to Maryland for a month.  I stared, open mouthed, at what people were wearing.  "What are people wearing?"  Wow.  Out of touch I was.  Don't worry, I have a credit card.  I got my hands on some infinity scarves, some hot purple skinnies, and a color block shirt.  You can all breathe a sigh of relief.

left side. FALSIES!  Right eye, no mascara.  Makes my whole face look lopsided!
Freckles?  Genetics and living in perpetual summertime.  

falsies eye lashes.  so fetch.   

THEN I got obsessed with New Girl, in honor of season 2 I looked up a Zooey Deschanel make up tutorial and bought Maybelline Falsies.  Five bucks at Walmart y'all.  It's a can do!  Then
Nick got back internet access after being in the arctic circle and he said "Stop buying things" so if I start to look uncool we can all blame Nick...
 

doing the splits to show you my nails, scarf, and skinnies.

I'm 26.  I want to wear purple skinnies while I can!  While it's not desperately sad.  Oh no!  Do I look desperately sad?  What am I saying.  No one could look sad while wearing hot purple jeans!  I want a crazy nail.  There you have it.