Model Behavior

I know we as women struggle with our image.  Men, they walk into a room and size up the competition, thinking who they could "take".  I think "Am I thinner?  Am I better looking?" and I can never be sure because I don't have a true image of myself in my mind... Wow typing that made me realize how helplessly vapid I am!  Mostly I figure the reason I'm thicker than other girls is probably because I have some rare disease that makes my internal organs protrude farther into my abdominal area.

Anyway, I think there are a few reasons why I will never look like a model.  Here they are:

• Fast Food Drive Through's and French Fries.  I would make out with a french fry-true story.
• I hate RUNNING!  I look at people running and think "No Way"  I would never do that to myself.  Give me a low impact workout anyday.  
• Doughnuts.  Superman had kryptonite... I have baked goods.  We all have downfalls.  
• Weight loss is a never ending battle.  You fall off the wagon-you gain ten pounds.  I guess you can put me on the fail blog.  

Don't get me wrong.  I started working out.  Yes, I haven't done it but once in two weeks, but I did Day camp!  And now I have a head cold-not conducive to physical exertion.  I just have to get back to Weight Watchers, starve myself (not literally, just WW style), and go to the gym faithfully like I had been doing for the past three months.  

Now for another (I'm sorry non-military wives)  Navy wife side note. I just read "Seperated by Duty, United in Love" by Shellie Vandevoorde.  This book is about coping during a deployment.  It was mostly common sense and most Christian wives should already be doing what she was saying.  It did make me feel part of a community.  However I wanted to see if you could see my own personal journey of separation from Nick through the subtitles of her book:

• Depression
• Resentment
• Phone Tag
• Personal Security to the Public
• The Urge to Splurge (She says resist it...Woops!)
• The Wicked Phone Bill
• When the Sadness Will Not Go Away
• Thank Goodness for... TV Dinners
• Email
• Friends
• The Honeymoon Just Goes On and On (This is true, this is the only good part of deployments- I forget every petty thing and just LOVE my husband)

See, I'm not crazy.  This lady wrote a book about it!  To finish off the blog I'll give you a little poetic snack.  Here are two stanza's borrowed from the author's poem "A Military Wife"

Her sacrifices are many

As she answers his call

She looks fear in the face

She's the bravest of all

She's self-sufficient and flexible

More patriotic than most

Her pride is contagious

But seldom does she boast

Ok, I'm working towards some of these virtues-Nick has only been commissioned for 6 or so months.  The part that resonates most is sacrifice and patriotism.  Sometimes I just want a cozy suburban life and a husband with a 9-5... then I realize that is what I'm sacrificing for.  My husband and the rest of our military protect the way of life that America allows us have.  Then I feel blessed and privileged instead of discouraged.  

Love, 

Kaley