Tales of a Desperate Housewife!

Marriage will inevitably come with it's own package of domestic challenges. Having had no training (not from lack of offers, but from lack of interest) in manners of this type, my first month of marriage is opening up a pletheora of activities that I don't know how to do.

I don't know how to fold the bottom sheet. This is really hard. Now, I have had to do this in my life, but college calls for nothing more than you rolling this sheet into a ball. My mother has a certain finesse which I hope to one day acquire.
Cleaning the shower is really hard. Everyone I have talked to has agreed with this. I hate cleaning the shower. But there is one thing I hate MORE than cleaning the shower.

Vacuuming!!! Nick and I inherited a 30 dollar vacuum from his mom. In her defense, she bought it because her dirt sucker broke and she was moving out of the country in less than a month. So, we have a thirty dollar vacuum. This has numerous design flaws such as: The handle detaches from the bottom of the vacuum... making it...two pieces and therefore unusable. It also has no suction. I sucked my hand with the attachment for a good thirty seconds and no hickey mark was left. I have a sucky vacuum. I want a dyson.
So the reason I hate vacuuming so much is the cat lays all up on my table cushions and I spent thirty minutes sucking the hair off. So, I took them off and they will only be for company. If you come over and I am late coming to the door... I am taking out the cushions for your entertaining pleasures. Kitty looked peeved as I took them away but there you go.
I want to shout out to B. Lomax who got Nick and I a "shark" and that is a lightweight vacuum that I can stand behind!
Okay, finally, if you didn't know this, toaster ovens get hot when you cook in them. So don't leave your plastic enwrapped tortillas in them...or this will happen:

Yes, to answer your question, it is hard to be me and be this mortifyingly stupid.
So to wrap it up,
I am domestically challenged.
Love, Kaley

PS To update, this is Kitty's obnoxious dish in it's home sweet home.