Back to my Roots

You might remember those good old days when Tara and I devoted our days blogging about celebrity gossip. Today, I must return to my roots. I feel compelled to blog after watching a particularly disturbing episode of "Chelsea Lately" featuring Juliana Rancic (Host of ENews)

Firstly:Lindsay Lohan might be having a lesbian affair with a female DJ. Talk about confessions of a teenage drama queen. All I can hope is that my shining ray of light, Hilary Duff, remains on the straight and narrow. Her biggest drama was getting those hot veneers that rivaled Seabiscuit. Also, while searching for this pic of Lindsay and her girlfriend I found out her nickname might have changed from LaLohan to.. Lilo. I disagree. While closer phonetically, I thought somehow some Disney news had gotten mixed up with "LaLohan" lesbian news.
Secondly: Christian Bale assaulted his mom and sister, who consequently used to reside in Wales. I found this out on the heels of watching "The Dark Knight" and feeling really empowered by the justice he served up to evil villians. Last time I checked your mom isn't an evil villian...or even if she is assault is not the answer. I was disturbed. I mean, I'm pretty annoying and Nick hasn't assaulted me yet. I did feel bad for him a little. At least if I punched my mom in the face, it wouldn't be splashed all over the news.
Thirdly and Most Importantly: Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt might be trying to have 12 children...after the Twelve Apostles of the BIBLE!!!! Why? Do they hope to have a mission successful to that of our Savior? Forgive me, but before you try to mother the apostles could you please embrace the holy covenant that is marriage? I mean, I know they care about starving children and the like, but this really gave me a creepy vibe.
Giving me another thing. Facebook says you spelled it wrong on it's own site if you write "facebook". Now, I guess Facebook is a proper noun and so deserves to be capitalized, but what a precedent to set. As if facebook is the lowly counterpart to the wise and all knowing Facebook. And of course being one half of Kaley and Nick I have to make a ridiculous decision to counteract this. Never again will I capitalize facebook and give it the ability to rule my life. If you would like I could give you a list of all celebrities and restaurants I have banned and blacklisted for some trivial reason i.e. Gwyneth Paltrow.
Love, Kaley
PS Don't forget those middle school pictures!!!