he says, she says.

Barrow, Alaska.  America's northernmost town.  That's where Nick flew into and left from on his arctic adventure, and it's where I check the weather in his neck of the woods... because they don't have "Polar ice fields" as an option on the iPhone weather app.  Nick is enjoying a brisk 33 degree day with a high of 40.  He spotted a polar bear and cub.  He also has to run 18 miles on a treadmill today in keeping with his marathon training.

Me?  I'll be enjoying a high of 91.  No, it's cool, I'm excited.  (Shyeah. Right.)  Forget Polar bears.  Animals here you would never see in a zoo, like this skink.

A 4 inch female 5-line skink.  I looked it up.  

It was in the house, no big deal.  Actually, it was a huge deal.  I cried hysterically while standing on the dining room table chair with a tupperware gasping out "Jesus!"  For only He would give me the strength to trap it.

Wild things flew threw my mind.  I thought it might jump on me.  Okay, mostly I just thought about it jumping on me.  I'd like to give a shout out to Twinky for finding it.  While walking by the "dining room" I saw Twinky trying to get at something under the dog bed.  In my naivete I thought it was most likely an earwig (in layman's terms: a pincher bug) however, knowing that I live in my own personal nightmare, I steeled myself for something larger.  A beetle perhaps?

Then I picked up the bed.  There is was.  The skink.  I knew it was a skink because I used to get Wildlife Fact Files in the mail every month.  Anyone?  Of course I ran away screaming.  The temptation to leave it there was paramount, but the vision of it climbing out of the couch cushions as I lay there watching Honey Boo Boo made me cringe.  Enter crying, drooling (yes, I drooled.  I was hysterical), screaming me.  The baby was woken.  Twinky tried to eat it.  Finally it was trapped.  I drug it toward the door and flung it out where it lay stunned.  That actually pissed me off because I thought, "If you have a heart attack and die I'm going to have to sweep you off the porch!"  Not to worry, he came to and ran under the grill cover.  Note to self, NEVER pick up the grill cover ever again.

The moral of the story?  I choose polar bears.

i heart.

There's a blog I follow called I heart organizing.  It's full of organizational tips and tricks.  Obviously Pinterest put me onto it.

organized books.  it feels so good.  so so good.  

Organization... does not come naturally to me.  I like it when things are organized, I just don't like to do it.  While some women would look at the bottle of Pledge and nail file sitting on their desk and think "I MUST put that away" I think "I would rather die than put that away" but the simple truth is, I wouldn't even think of it at all.

Eventually, as one grows up, one must learn to organize.  Inevitably you will purchase a filing cabinet and maybe even repurpose everything you bought for your third grade classroom into closet organizers (let's be real, I'm not going back any time soon), but one must draw the line somewhere.  Can we draw the line on organized lists of what is in each box in your garage?  I feel pretty accomplished if the sharpie scribble "Kitchen" actually matches what is in the box!
How about decorating the inside of your laundry closet.  Stop.  You have OCD.  You need to be medicated.  The level of crazy a woman can reach in regards to housekeeping is highlighted on this blog.  There is a fine line between an organized house and "NO WIRE HANGERS!"  I'm not judging. I own a LOT of baskets.  I'm just saying.  Give your husband a break.

That's all I have to say about that.

pet art.

Don't look at the book titles.  I'm such a nerd.  

My house needed another home made holly hobby junked up piece of crap I made while Owen was awake so it stinks piece of art.  Thanks to the crafting saints for the two for one canvas deal at Hobby Lobby so I could complete this project.  I found a tutorial here on Pinterest.  Her dog looked like Molly.    So I decided to copy her.  Kind of like when Katy Heron cut holes where the boobs were in Regina George's shirt during gym to embarrass her, but everyone copied her anyway.  Or it wasn't like that at all.  Your call.

Here is how I did it.

 1.  First you must take a picture of your pet.  This will not be easy.  You will want to punch your pet in their pet face.  You will cajole, bribe, and then yell at the dog which then causes the baby to wake up.
Okay.  Next step.

2.  Get your baby to print out the picture you took then uploaded to the computer.

3.  Cut out the picture of your (because you are not patient) three legged animal.  Do not look straight into her eyes unless you want to turn into stone.

4.  Here is where my laziness got the best of me.  The tutorial calls for contact paper and adhesive paper.  My lazy self said "No.  No I am not doing that."  So I coated it with Mod Podge on both sides.  While the back was still tacky I set it down on the canvas.  DON'T follow my example.  It didn't work great.  The next time I would give it two coats of mod podge on each side before I painted over it.

Twinky was the creature I painted over first.  You can see where I messed up on her tail and front paw.  I can't decide if I'm going to paint the canvas white where she is or not.  You can't really tell from far away.  And that's why I shouldn't be allowed to craft.  Cost of entire project?  $6.99 (With canvas sale)

who's that girl?

It's Jess!

Psych!  It's just me!  Owen took a really long nap today so I decided to google "Zooey Deschanel Hair Tutorial."  Turns out it's just curling your hair.

Here's my favorite outtake from my photobooth photo shoot.

What?  It's hard to look awkward and cute at the same time.  How do I live in Mississippi and have legs this pale?!

i'm back!

Annapolitan Navy Wife look.  

Hello dear friends!  It's been too long.  My path took me to Maryland for an entire month.  It felt really good being in civilization.  I realized I was out of fashion, out of shape, and out of the south.  The first two felt bad, but that last one felt good.  I'm back with a plan.  A few shopping trips to Nordstrom Rack, one weight watchers dot com subscription and I'm ready to conquer Mississippi.  

My husband has been gone since early summer.  He's been in the Bering Sea, the Arctic Circle, and he even saw some walruses.  

teeny tiny update.

I'll be back.  I really will.  I'm trying to make a decision about blogging.  Where to blog really.  I'll probably just stick with the status quo, but you never know!
See you soon!

niv with a ribbon bookmark.

Does anyone else feel slighted by the NIV being edged out by the ESV?  Oh, I'm sure there is good reason- better translation, something about greek and hebrew... To me it feels a little like upgrading to a Bluray.  Do I really have to go out and get a leather bound ESV?  At least I have the NIV and not the NKJV.  That's like the VHS of the movie community.
It's all greek to me!

I'll leave you with this.

Me so Holy.