I've moved.

Okay, I really think I fixed the link this time.

New Blog!

louisiana renaissance festival.

Nick had graciously been granted a four day weekend by his CO for Veteran's Day.  What's a family to do with four days of freedom on the Gulf Coast?  The answer came in the form of the Louisiana Renaissance Festival with a promotion for Active Duty Military to get into the festivities for free!  Done and done.

We were greeted by this large sign when we entered.  I'd like to think I know a thing or two about jousting, as it is Maryland's state sport, but apparently in Louisiana they joust alligators.  Typical.

Nick and I are always down to people watch.  Especially here.  Especially with a camera.  So enjoy this photo-documentary of our experience.  And see how creepy we are when we take pictures of strange people.

First Nick decided to do some archery.  I overheard two teenage boys talking to each other about driving up to Maryland where they had just legalized pot.  I wanted to tell them they could drive up there and get married, but they couldn't get pot.  Not yet at least.

Then there was this really creepy teenage boy walking around in a dragon costume.  I initially assumed he worked for the festival, but the moment he took of his mask I decided he must not be allowed near Owen.  It was something about his sparse teenage boy mustache that put me off.

Did you know there is an obesity epidemic here?  I know I'm getting hit by lightning for that one.  This picture clearly illustrates our strategy of pretending to photograph each other, but really we are just trying to capture... whatever you would call this.

Owen couldn't stop staring.  Neither could I, I can't blame him.

Then I made Nick stand in line for chips.  There was no way I was going to talk to the food wenches.  Fellow seagulls, these were like the delicious gull's nest chips that we used to binge on.

My second favorite costume of the day was this demon boy.  Beelzebub.  Lucifer.  I'm not sure, but full black body paint screams commitment.  It also screams "I come here everyday the festival's open."

The rednecks were there.

So was the Queen's fork guardian.  (Did I mention the obesity epidemic?)

And then this happened.  The girl in her underwear covered by some nude panty hose.  What you can't immediately tell is that the man she's assisting is beginning to dress in his Ent costume.  That's right.  That guy eventually turned out to be Tree Beard.  This brings me to my Middle Earth segway.

Nothing screams renaissance like Middle Earth!  (?)  We saw some hobbits, some Ents, and of course we saw Gandalf and Galadriel.  Though to be fair he could have been Dumbledore visiting the past.

My favorite part was the birds of prey booth which I stood at for way too long, looking at this amazing eagle owl and golden eagle and gyr falcon and red tailed hawk and peregrine falcon and... and... and.. then I got scared away by the lady who engaged the falconer in a conversation involving her dragging a ranch in New Mexico and unearthing a golden eagle body which she then took feathers from, but prayed to the Native American's that it's soul would be... that's when I walked away.

Biggest fail?  No Game of Thrones costumes!  Come on now, I know you have HBO in LA!

Corey.

Well, I know you were all waiting with bated breath to find out about the lizard in my car. Corey Matthews was found alive in a snack cup after a week of living undetected in the Rav.  Speaking of Corey Matthews, my trusty husband informed me that Disney is in talks with Ben Savage and Danielle Fischel to do a Boy meets World sequel.  It proved to be so exciting to my psyche that I dreamt about it all night long.  That's really saying something since I watched ten minutes of The Walking Dead last night and saw a zombie rip a dude's throat out.  I wonder.... Will they bring back Uncle Eric? I'll leave you with this.

lizard.

There is a lizard in my car.  I had been home for about an hour when I walked out to the garage to grab my sunglasses.  Lizard.  On front seat.

Excuse me lizard.  Were you riding with me to the doctor's office?  Or did you just make your way in?  How did you get in might I ask? Did you crawl through a microscopic crevice?  Jerk.

Twinky was locked into the car with him for an hour, but she did not catch him.  She just curled up on the front seat and lounged.  So much for plan A.  Plan B is Nick.  Just Nick.

I might as well show you the rest of the gang from my porch.  Now I'm thinking there are just as many reptiles housed in my garage.  I do not look forward to packing day when we move.  Lizards jumping out at us from all angles!!

This is Alistair.

His name is Jimminy.

And finally Corey Matthews.  Could Corey be the one in the car too?

i killed biff.

Do you remember Biff and Linda?  They were the anole couple that lived on my back porch.  They had a baby this summer.  I didn't name him.  Let's call him Corey.

Biff is the green one... I think.  

Biff was a victim of my post cockroach insecticide apocalypse.  Let me explain.  You see, I sprayed our house inside and out with many layers of a household insecticide.  Every window, crevasse, nook or cranny was coated.  The porch was not spared.  In retrospect perhaps I should not have sprayed the porch.  I theorize Biff feasted on the dead bug buffet under the window... and was poisoned!  I walked out one morning to Biff (I think it was Biff, he turned a zombie shade of gray in death) hanging from our window sill.  Three legs on, one off, head lolling off to the side.

"I think Biff is dead" I yelled to Nick.  Nick confirmed the obvious and removed Biff from the window and gave him a touching send off, meaning he flung him from the porch.  Then we saw Linda.  She didn't seem sad, she was cavorting around with that damn skink that had gotten into the house earlier!!

If you'd like for me to review with you what kinds of creatures live on our house here we are.  Two anoles, two skinks, a family of geckos, an assortment of tree frogs.  Just stay outside and eat bugs guys and you'll be fine with me.

anchor.

Did I tell you I got an anchor permanently tattooed onto my wrist?

Well, I did.  So did Nick.  We anchor each other now.  Ha ha ha ha.

Now when I wear my Navy wife anchor accessories I feel kind of obsessed.  That maybe passersby lean over to each other and say "That lady must really like anchors."

Anchor scarf.  Anchor tat.  I thought the best way to show you both was if I did the robot and had dead eyes.  

i'm not cool.

I'm not that cool.  My former college roommates will tell you that.  They had to endure my Jessica Simpson poster, ferret calender, and princess wand dorm room decor.  I had an eclectic style back then. It was embarrassing with a taste of lame.

Then I got a job.  I could afford to be (moderately) cooler.  Then I moved to California.  Oh my gosh.  Skinny jeans.  Boots outside of jeans five years after it was socially acceptable.  Ray bans.  I was cool.  (nope, not really)

THEN I came to Mississippi y'all!  Got fat, had a baby, stopped showering.  Kept brushing my teeth... most days.  One day I tried to do the "ring finger a different color" trend.  My friends were utterly bewildered.  I gave up.  I still wore skinny jeans, though they're more like "sausage" jeans because that's what my legs look like all stuffed into them...

Twinky helped me to online shop.  

THEN I went back to Maryland for a month.  I stared, open mouthed, at what people were wearing.  "What are people wearing?"  Wow.  Out of touch I was.  Don't worry, I have a credit card.  I got my hands on some infinity scarves, some hot purple skinnies, and a color block shirt.  You can all breathe a sigh of relief.

left side. FALSIES!  Right eye, no mascara.  Makes my whole face look lopsided!
Freckles?  Genetics and living in perpetual summertime.  

falsies eye lashes.  so fetch.   

THEN I got obsessed with New Girl, in honor of season 2 I looked up a Zooey Deschanel make up tutorial and bought Maybelline Falsies.  Five bucks at Walmart y'all.  It's a can do!  Then
Nick got back internet access after being in the arctic circle and he said "Stop buying things" so if I start to look uncool we can all blame Nick...
 

doing the splits to show you my nails, scarf, and skinnies.

I'm 26.  I want to wear purple skinnies while I can!  While it's not desperately sad.  Oh no!  Do I look desperately sad?  What am I saying.  No one could look sad while wearing hot purple jeans!  I want a crazy nail.  There you have it.

he says, she says.

Barrow, Alaska.  America's northernmost town.  That's where Nick flew into and left from on his arctic adventure, and it's where I check the weather in his neck of the woods... because they don't have "Polar ice fields" as an option on the iPhone weather app.  Nick is enjoying a brisk 33 degree day with a high of 40.  He spotted a polar bear and cub.  He also has to run 18 miles on a treadmill today in keeping with his marathon training.

Me?  I'll be enjoying a high of 91.  No, it's cool, I'm excited.  (Shyeah. Right.)  Forget Polar bears.  Animals here you would never see in a zoo, like this skink.

A 4 inch female 5-line skink.  I looked it up.  

It was in the house, no big deal.  Actually, it was a huge deal.  I cried hysterically while standing on the dining room table chair with a tupperware gasping out "Jesus!"  For only He would give me the strength to trap it.

Wild things flew threw my mind.  I thought it might jump on me.  Okay, mostly I just thought about it jumping on me.  I'd like to give a shout out to Twinky for finding it.  While walking by the "dining room" I saw Twinky trying to get at something under the dog bed.  In my naivete I thought it was most likely an earwig (in layman's terms: a pincher bug) however, knowing that I live in my own personal nightmare, I steeled myself for something larger.  A beetle perhaps?

Then I picked up the bed.  There is was.  The skink.  I knew it was a skink because I used to get Wildlife Fact Files in the mail every month.  Anyone?  Of course I ran away screaming.  The temptation to leave it there was paramount, but the vision of it climbing out of the couch cushions as I lay there watching Honey Boo Boo made me cringe.  Enter crying, drooling (yes, I drooled.  I was hysterical), screaming me.  The baby was woken.  Twinky tried to eat it.  Finally it was trapped.  I drug it toward the door and flung it out where it lay stunned.  That actually pissed me off because I thought, "If you have a heart attack and die I'm going to have to sweep you off the porch!"  Not to worry, he came to and ran under the grill cover.  Note to self, NEVER pick up the grill cover ever again.

The moral of the story?  I choose polar bears.

i heart.

There's a blog I follow called I heart organizing.  It's full of organizational tips and tricks.  Obviously Pinterest put me onto it.

organized books.  it feels so good.  so so good.  

Organization... does not come naturally to me.  I like it when things are organized, I just don't like to do it.  While some women would look at the bottle of Pledge and nail file sitting on their desk and think "I MUST put that away" I think "I would rather die than put that away" but the simple truth is, I wouldn't even think of it at all.

Eventually, as one grows up, one must learn to organize.  Inevitably you will purchase a filing cabinet and maybe even repurpose everything you bought for your third grade classroom into closet organizers (let's be real, I'm not going back any time soon), but one must draw the line somewhere.  Can we draw the line on organized lists of what is in each box in your garage?  I feel pretty accomplished if the sharpie scribble "Kitchen" actually matches what is in the box!
How about decorating the inside of your laundry closet.  Stop.  You have OCD.  You need to be medicated.  The level of crazy a woman can reach in regards to housekeeping is highlighted on this blog.  There is a fine line between an organized house and "NO WIRE HANGERS!"  I'm not judging. I own a LOT of baskets.  I'm just saying.  Give your husband a break.

That's all I have to say about that.

pet art.

Don't look at the book titles.  I'm such a nerd.  

My house needed another home made holly hobby junked up piece of crap I made while Owen was awake so it stinks piece of art.  Thanks to the crafting saints for the two for one canvas deal at Hobby Lobby so I could complete this project.  I found a tutorial here on Pinterest.  Her dog looked like Molly.    So I decided to copy her.  Kind of like when Katy Heron cut holes where the boobs were in Regina George's shirt during gym to embarrass her, but everyone copied her anyway.  Or it wasn't like that at all.  Your call.

Here is how I did it.

 1.  First you must take a picture of your pet.  This will not be easy.  You will want to punch your pet in their pet face.  You will cajole, bribe, and then yell at the dog which then causes the baby to wake up.
Okay.  Next step.

2.  Get your baby to print out the picture you took then uploaded to the computer.

3.  Cut out the picture of your (because you are not patient) three legged animal.  Do not look straight into her eyes unless you want to turn into stone.

4.  Here is where my laziness got the best of me.  The tutorial calls for contact paper and adhesive paper.  My lazy self said "No.  No I am not doing that."  So I coated it with Mod Podge on both sides.  While the back was still tacky I set it down on the canvas.  DON'T follow my example.  It didn't work great.  The next time I would give it two coats of mod podge on each side before I painted over it.

Twinky was the creature I painted over first.  You can see where I messed up on her tail and front paw.  I can't decide if I'm going to paint the canvas white where she is or not.  You can't really tell from far away.  And that's why I shouldn't be allowed to craft.  Cost of entire project?  $6.99 (With canvas sale)

who's that girl?

It's Jess!

Psych!  It's just me!  Owen took a really long nap today so I decided to google "Zooey Deschanel Hair Tutorial."  Turns out it's just curling your hair.

Here's my favorite outtake from my photobooth photo shoot.

What?  It's hard to look awkward and cute at the same time.  How do I live in Mississippi and have legs this pale?!

i'm back!

Annapolitan Navy Wife look.  

Hello dear friends!  It's been too long.  My path took me to Maryland for an entire month.  It felt really good being in civilization.  I realized I was out of fashion, out of shape, and out of the south.  The first two felt bad, but that last one felt good.  I'm back with a plan.  A few shopping trips to Nordstrom Rack, one weight watchers dot com subscription and I'm ready to conquer Mississippi.  

My husband has been gone since early summer.  He's been in the Bering Sea, the Arctic Circle, and he even saw some walruses.  

teeny tiny update.

I'll be back.  I really will.  I'm trying to make a decision about blogging.  Where to blog really.  I'll probably just stick with the status quo, but you never know!
See you soon!

niv with a ribbon bookmark.

Does anyone else feel slighted by the NIV being edged out by the ESV?  Oh, I'm sure there is good reason- better translation, something about greek and hebrew... To me it feels a little like upgrading to a Bluray.  Do I really have to go out and get a leather bound ESV?  At least I have the NIV and not the NKJV.  That's like the VHS of the movie community.
It's all greek to me!

I'll leave you with this.

Me so Holy.

tim.

My sojourn to San Diego brought me to Harbor Presbyterian Church with then exposed me to the teachings of Tim Keller.  It changed my life.  I've become complacent recently, with the move, with Nick gone, and with some other pretty crummy things that have happened to me.  So tonight I decided to get some theology in my life instead of the alternative, which is sitting around feeling sorry for myself.  Here are some especially profound things I'll share with you.

“The gospel of justifying faith means that while Christians are, in themselves still sinful and sinning, yet in Christ, in God’s sight, they are accepted and righteous. So we can say that we are more wicked than we ever dared believe, but more loved and accepted in Christ than we ever dared hope — at the very same time. This creates a radical new dynamic for personal growth. It means that the more you see your own flaws and sins, the more precious, electrifying, and amazing God’s grace appears to you. But on the other hand, the more aware you are of God’s grace and acceptance in Christ, the more able you are to drop your denials and self-defenses and admit the true dimensions and character of your sin.” 
― Timothy Keller

“When people say, "I know God forgives me, but I can't forgive myself," they mean that they have failed an idol, whose approval is more important than God's.” 
― Timothy Keller


I get so sad when I hear people saying that Christians are stuck up, that they want bad people to go to hell, that they relish in being "better" than others, that they judge, judge, judge.  Some of them do I guess, but they shouldn't.  That's what I want people to know.

harry movie mania.

You're going to be seeing a trend in my blog for the next week.  Sometimes when Nick leaves I leave too.  I go to Hogwarts.

In today's blog post I'm going to be ranking my favorite and least favorite Harry Potter films.

My favorite film of all the franchise is Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1.  With the exception of the cringe worthy dancing scene between Harry and Hermione, there is no bad part to that movie.  Upon watching it for the fifth... or sixth... or seventh time I still managed to cry three times.  Once when Hedwig dies (why Hedwig?!), the next time when Ron leaves (Your parents are dead!  You have no family!), and finally when Dobby snuffs it by way of Bellatrix's knife.  There are endless crazy good moments in that film.  Spot on I tell you!  How scary is Bathilda Bagshot!  So scary, that's how!  Bravo David Yates!

My second favorite film is Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.  Admittedly when I first saw, or "sawr" if you're Harry, this movie I hated it.  I couldn't come to grips that they had cut out so many supporting plot lines, Firenze ring a bell?  That hot, mallow sweet burning centaur from the forbidden forest?  Well, that and Michael Gambon's Dumbledore is a complete waste of space.  That's another blog post entirely.  The saving grace of this movie is the epic battle scene between Dumbledore and Voldemort.

"You're a fool Harry Potter.  And you will lose, everything" 

This is also the first movie where Daniel Radcliffe can actually act!  I came to this epiphany during my recent movie marathon.  He sucked in Goblet of Fire and suddenly he is able to convey emotion in Order of the Phoenix!  Which is a mercy, truly.  Professor Umbridge's collectable cat plates that meow are genius.  Kudos to whoever designed those beauties.  Why aren't they selling those in the Harry Potter collectable magazine?  I'd buy one.  Maybe they'd even customize it so I could put Twinky in it!


My third favorite is Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince.  Let me do a quick "high-low" for this movie.

Highs:

• Dumbledore's lasso of fire against the army of inferi.
• Dumbledore and Harry in the Daily Prophet at the Ministry.  Hugs!  
• Professor Slughorn in any scene.  "All hands on deck Granger!"
• Inky walks down memory lane.  "I can talk to snakes.  They find me.  Whisper things"
• Ron.  Keeper.  Quidditch.  Spot on mate.  
• Katie Bell being cursed.  So cool.  

Lows:

• No epic Death Eater vs the Order fight after Snape kills Dumbledore in the Astronomy tower.  
• Harry hitting on the coffee barista at the train station.  Question mark?  

And now, what you've all been waiting for.  The worst Harry Potter movie ever.  Ever.  

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.  Oh gosh.  Here Michael Gambon is a terrible Dumbledore.  The plot has been so hacksawed that it makes no sense what-so-ever.  Why did Barty Crouch Jr have to have a bizarre tongue tick? They couldn't come up with anything else?  Why did Madame Maxine eat a bug out of Hagrid's beard?  Why did the "Sons of Durmstrang" do gymnastics down the great hall and for that matter why did the Beauxbaton's have butterflies fluttering out of their armpits?  Want me to keep going?  Where was Ludo Bagman?  How did Harry not get third degree burns at the Quidditch World cup when all of the tents were burned down around him?  Oh Winky, you should have been in this film.  Did anyone else notice that Dobby and Winky ride by on a llama at the world cup for about half a second.  That was their homage to the house elf story line.  It wasn't all bad, but let's be real, it was mostly bad.  Watching Daniel Radcliffe squirm and moan tied to that gravestone was about all I could take.  In fact, watching him act at all period was hard to watch.  Finally, why did they make the final task the maze from "The Shining"?  I would have liked to see some skrewts, some sphinxes, and some acromantulas!  

I'll end with this.  The three worst scenes in Harry Potter history.  

3.  Harry crying after learning Sirius was the best man in his parent's wedding.  I think I just broke out into hives.  

2.  The last scene in Prisoner of Azkaban when Harry rides off on the Firebolt and Alfonso Cuaron thought it would be great to freeze his goob face.  

1.  When Harry turns to Voldemort and says "Let's finish this the way we started."  That is to say, if he meant that they started in a headlock, jumping off of a castle wall.  Huh?  I don't get it.  Should have left well enough alone guys.  

just because.

Oh Dumbledore internet meme.  How I love you.

the craftmaster.

I am the craftmaster!

Owen had torn apart an old book of Welsh history that was on the bottom bookshelf.  (Sorry Nanny!)  Loathe to waste the antique paper I took myself onto Pinterest to browse book page ideas. The silhouettes of various objects appealed to me the most.   "I can do that myself!" said I, and off to google images I went.

Here is my finished project awaiting some frames.  Due to budget constraints I may be spray painting some dollah dollah tree frames y'all!

A feeling of guilt was plaguing me for using a Welsh history book to print nautical images, so I printed out a picture of Dewi, the Welsh dragon on a page.  I don't know what I'll do with him.  I'm sure I'll come up with something!

mandy. moore please!

I love Mandy Moore.  I may or may not own a best hits album.  I heart Tangled.  I heart her cheesy Nicholas Sparks, virginal, 'oh no I got cancer' movie.  So here is her cover of sleazy Rhianna's "Umbrella."  As you can see, anything Mandy touches is gold.  To me.

Recently I've been watching "One Tree Hill" on Soapnet.  (Curse you DirectTV and your one million channels!)  I watched the first two seasons back in the early 2000's, but then stopped.  Now I love watching their flared jeans and the guest appearances by K-Fed and Stephen from Laguna Beach.  Oh so good.  And did I just see a cameo by Three doors down?!

What's more captivating Chad Michael Murray?  Your three names?  Your moody stare?  Your soul patch?  

Though I did not hear a Simpson sisters sing on the show, I was reminded of what I listened to in college.  The truth is, I got my groove on to Ashlee and Jessica way too much.  I may have danced around in a poncho to Ashlee Simpson's "Shadow" pretending to be Jessica Simpson.  I can't remember who danced as Ashlee, but I think it may have been my husband's old roommate...  

And then there's this.  While searching I came across Jessica's attempt to "go country."  Does anyone else remember that?  I'm glad she steered her ship towards fashion.  I'll post this video from when she could sing.  It's kinder that way.

The flash from the past is over!  Hope you enjoyed it!

mom and dad.

My parent's house was featured in the local newspaper.  My favorite part of the article was seeing this fab photo of the two of them.

Aren't they cute?  To say I'm excited to spend the most time at home since I moved to California is an understatement.  It will be nice to hang with my old roomies once again.  And swimming in that pool isn't going to be half bad either.