From this day forward

chicks man.

2012-02-17T00:36:00.003-05:00

Why did the chicken cross the road?

I guess it was to get to that rooster over there.

Long live Mississippi!

While driving to a friends house I saw a small black apparition cross the street. That's no dog, I thought to myself. Upon further inspection I realized that what I had seen was a hen. A hen that was right next to a huge buxom rooster.

Love sick!

2012-02-15T17:36:00.000-05:00

I have a dirty little secret. I used to read Christian romance novels. When I was twelve.

This is before I knew how adults functioned. Before I had been in a relationship with an actual human male. The book says things such as this -

"Oh, Rand," Brandon shook his head. "I sound like a lovesick schoolboy. You heard what she said... After all these years she still doesn't want to be married."

"Brandon was so surprised he blinked in stupefaction."

Oh my goodness. Reality is calling. Christian Romance didn't get the message.

Happy Valentine's Day

2012-02-13T17:35:00.000-05:00

This will be the second Valentine's Day in a row that Nick has been gone. Not a huge deal, he's never missed a Christmas.
Nick and I went on our first date ten years ago on the day after Valentine's Day.
Nick and I have been going on dates for a decade. That's a long time. I do hate having feelings, but I have to admit I do miss that man. Especially when we are in a new place. It seems to me that many people take advantage of the feeling of being loved. Having someone, physically present, that loves you. That you can mouth off too, or complain to, or enjoy a movie with and be very comfortable. I've been missing that feeling on my foray into America's southern lands.
So, on this Valentine's day instead of throwing a pity party for myself I am going to tell you what I do love.

I love that Nick can email me and he isn't sailing the seas when men couldn't even write letters.
I love that I have a new Valentine, Owen, and he is very handsome and charming.
I love our country and I don't mind spending the day alone if it means that our country is safe.
I love chocolate chip cookies.

This post was a little scattered. Chalk it up to me being a reclusive shut in with only a cat, dog, and baby to talk to!

it's getting excessive- i know.

2012-02-11T14:51:00.001-05:00

I made a cat video. I told myself I wouldn't, but Twinky is just so bad. Here is a montage of Twinky doing bad things. Most of the bad things she does are hard to capture on video because she stops doing them when I whip out the camera. Kind of like how I had to stop typing three times to stop her from attacking Owen's hands between (had to get up again) the crib bumper.

I added some hellish music to enhance the vibe.

Let me know in the comments if the video doesn't work. I've only made one other movie in iMovie.

Last night in repayment for Twinky being so incredibly bad- I decided to "bread" her. I've submitted her picture to the website (breadingcats.com)- so here's to hoping she makes it on!

crazy catsville ladies.

2012-02-10T01:30:00.000-05:00

kaley- your blog sucks. and it's boring.
i see it down there, and to be quite honest, i'm not interested.

The community where I live was formerly a retirement community... or something like that. I'm not too clear on the specifics, let's just say there are a buttload of old folks in my neighborhood. Old folks that drive around in golf carts and sit in recliners parked in their garages. Excuse me, I digress, but I'm just trying to set the scene for you.

Owen and I see lots of fun things on our walks together. Sometimes there is an old fat man "walking" his dog by holding the dogs leash while his dog runs alongside his golf cart. Then there are the crazy cat ladies. You had to see that coming. Old ladies and cats? It's almost cliche. Owen and I counted 13 cats on one particular porch last week. Thirteen. Cats. I'm watching hoarders specifically to catch this lady.

bad kitty.

2012-02-09T01:05:00.002-05:00

Twinky has been suffering from some behavioral problems as of late. Don't take my word for it. Review the evidence- and I must say- it's pretty overwhelming.

This isn't so much bad as it is creepy.
She sits on the coffee table and stares at me.

Twinky sitting on my pillow while I'm sewing it.

This grainy photo was captured when Twinkie jumped onto the tallest bookcase late at night.

Seriously?

Found. Kitten. In baby's crib. Past her bedtime.

This is Twinky waiting for me to look away so she can chew on the wireless router.
(Which she was chewing on as I wrote the caption)

Pacifier sans nipple. Courtesy of Twinky's insatiable appetite for all things plastic

She does have a small head.

I haven't been saving these up. All of these photos are from this week. Still I love my kitty. I've been thinking about "breading" her. Stay tuned.

we lost.

2012-02-06T02:10:00.002-05:00

We lost. I wanted to win, because let's be honest, who wants to lose?

I wanted to win for Nick because he's under way.

I wanted to win so that the Brady haters would shut their traps.

I wanted to win so I didn't have to avoid Facebook for two days until the hype cools down.

Is there a bigger let down than losing a super bowl? I don't think there is. It feels like the entire season was invalidated. It makes me wonder why I watched football all season. What's the point?

Is this what it feels like to be Nick all the time? Football is too emotional for me. I might have to go back to apathy.

See you next season!

chalkboard doodles.

2012-02-03T17:41:00.002-05:00

What do you do with yourself when the baby is napping, you don't work, and you're bored?

You craft. And when you're too lazy to craft? You doodle on your chalkboard desk and frame. I realize it seems kind of silly to have a chalkboard frame on a chalkboard desk... but when you buy chalkboard paint it comes with a LOT. I'll have to paint something else soon!

This is my Dumbledore doodle- complete with mini- pewter Dumbledore from my Aunty M. He sits on my computer desk and bestows wisdom upon me.

This is my Valentine's Day doodle. Yeah, that's the Liberty Bell and Thai elephant behind it... because I like tchotchkes (not how I thought that was spelled). Don't be a hater!

spirit chair.

2012-02-01T11:36:00.000-05:00

Nick is going to be gone for the Super Bowl. This is a national tragedy because the Patriot's are competing for the championship!! In his absence I have set up a spirit chair.

I have also only been drinking out of this Patriots Tervis Tumbler my mom got Nick for Christmas.

Go Pats!

And O has been napping with his Pats blanket.

Hopefully this will take them to the win!

mardi gras ya'll!

2012-01-31T11:23:00.000-05:00

Fun Fact(s): If you have not picked up on this yet, the area of Mississippi in which I live is highly influenced by New Orleans as it is a 45 minute drive away. Meaning- Walmart has a large selection of Mardi Gras party fodder. Target does too! Do me a favor. Let me know if your Target has Mardi Gras t-shirts and hats. Not sure if it is a national thing, but I do not remember Mardi Gras being any sort of a big deal in any other state.

Since moving here I try to work "Fleur de Lis" into every possible conversation as it is fun to speak French. Oui? Also, Cafe Du Monde. Oh, and Cafe Au Laite. Oh! And beignet!

And that has been today's edition of "Fun with French!"

nick's in the ocean. again.

2012-01-30T11:17:00.001-05:00

Spoiled. Nick was home for SIX straight months. That is the longest span of time we have been together in our married lives. Alas, sailors can not stay on land forever. He is gone for a few months mapping the ocean floor.

Before the ship pulled out he sent me this in an email.

"I kind of hate it out here and desperately wish that I was home. I'll cheer up though."

This under way has been different because of Owen. I know that Nick is missing him and sad that he will miss Owen crawling and eating food for the first time. It is also hard for me to suddenly become a single parent. I felt that weight settle around me as I was walking out of the airport. However, God blessed me with a simply wonderful baby. Owen is happy, easy going, and a joy to be around. He rarely fusses and smiles often. Honestly, it is more difficult being a parent to Molly and Twinky. (They got a two hour time out in my room yesterday for knocking over cups and scratching my legs)

Fun travel tidbit. Nick tried to pick up a Japanese copy of Harry Potter for me at the Tokyo airport... but they only had anime novels!

political chickens.

2012-01-28T12:16:00.000-05:00

Occupy Wall Street?

No sir. Occupy Front Yard!

Way to keep your finger on the pulse of what is happening now, Chickens Magazine. I also like how they teach you how to raise and then eat (easy french recipes!) your chicken. It's kind of a full circle deal.

king cake ya'll!

2012-01-27T12:10:00.001-05:00

found.

Nick and I stumbled upon another gulf coast tradition. Naturally it involves food. Louisiana and Mississippi are not the most obese states in the nation for naught. Mardi Gras doesn't only mean beads, masks, and drunkenness. Apparently it also means you can buy a delicious seasonal cake at your local grocery store bakery!
King's cake is based on the three kings who came to see baby Jesus. Each cake comes with a small plastic baby that you hide in it (Jesus). One lucky person gets to chomp down on a plastic baby! It has sprinkles and cinnamon and sometimes other fillings that are equally delicious. Not sure what cinnamon has to do with the wise men, but I'll take it!

And there you have it. King's cake. Who knew?

this canyon is grand. to you.

2012-01-19T12:29:00.001-05:00

The Grand Canyon has never beckoned me. I do not hear it's siren call. Twice I've been to this wonder of nature. Both times with a person who thought it was "the bomb dot com." Both times I thought it was a hole in the ground albeit a large one. Perhaps even the largest. Who could know such things? Maybe someday I can return to the canyon, with both people, and we can ride a mule down the harrowing cliff sides. We'll see.

My first trip was with Tara.

north rim.

My second with Nick. (and Owen and Molly)

south rim.

Somehow I just can't seem to muster up the Grand Canyon joy that my compatriots do. It doesn't show in my face, does it?

southern lingo.

2012-01-17T12:14:00.000-05:00

A stroller is a buggy. Ya'll is as common in texting as brb. Go is spelled geaux.
The differences in vernacular are there. They're there ya'll.

To prove my point I give you the bicycle nameplates at Walmart.

Now, all we need is a "Jesus loves Bubba" plate and we're all set.

mardi gras tree.

2012-01-16T12:08:00.002-05:00

Sometimes I feel like an undercover yankee in a strange, strange southern world. For instance, last weekend Nick and I went to Sam's Club. Right there in the entrance was a tree bedecked in Mardi Gras ornaments (green, purple, gold, those creepy mask faces) with a big fleur de lis on top. I thought to myself... boy that's odd. Christmas is over.

couldn't find a suitable mardi gras tree picture. google it.

Then my southern friend informed me, at a later date, that people around these parts keep their trees up until Easter. They just switch their Christmas ornaments for Mardi Gras ornaments. Their Christmas wreaths for Mardi Gras wreaths. And their santa lawn ornaments for those creepy face mask things. This must be true, because I am seeing a lot of Mardi Gras wreaths going up in my neighborhood.
Perhaps you don't find this to be the culture shock that I do. I'm always surprised when I learn something new about an area that I had no idea existed before. No. Idea. At. All.
There you have it. Mardi Gras trees.

soon and very soon.

2012-01-07T15:21:00.001-05:00

I will blog again.

I've been on vacation.

dash.

2011-12-05T23:13:00.000-05:00

I watch "Keeping up with the Kardashians."

I know I shouldn't, but I can't help it. Sometimes they play marathons while I am doing housework. Is anyone else tempted to say "Bible?" The Kardashians say it when they are serious about something. For example. "Kim's butt is not fake. Bible." or "I didn't eat the last donut. Bible."

Pretty sure it would be sacrilegious to do this. Pretty sure it's sacrilegious to watch the Kardashians.

tebow time.

2011-12-04T23:08:00.001-05:00

You may not know this about me. In fact, I'm sure you don't. My husband is the only one who knows of the secret love I have for the man named Tim Tebow.

somebody whipped creamed him. not cool guys.

Last year Nick watched a documentary on the Tebow. I watched with him. Mostly because this documentary centered upon Tim Tebow working out.

Here are the reasons I love me some Tebow:

He love Jesus. For real and legit.
He can pull a full size SUV down the road with his body.
Did you read the previous bullet point?
He's easy on the eyes.

Do I need anymore reasons? So, unless the Patriots are playing the Broncos.... Let's go Broncos! Because I'd have to do a whole 'nother blog post on the man crush Nick has on Tom Brady. Ain't nobody sayin' nothin' about Tom Brady in this house!

"cat hold"

2011-12-03T17:31:00.000-05:00

She likes this, I swear.

And just so you know, she's really big now. Pretty sure it's her steady diet of Molly's dog food. Check her out as a teeny, weeny kitten cat.

holy crow that's a lot of baby weight!!

celtic festival. southern style.

2011-12-02T13:09:00.000-05:00

Turns out "Celtic Festival" in MS actually meant "Redneck Festival." **

that's some good people watchin'

Nick and I skipped lunch hoping for some Welsh fare. Maybe some Bangers and Mash, some Fish and Chips. Perhaps even some wine gums or squash. We weren't sure.

Turns out Welsh Fare in MS actually meant deep fried corn dogs. (that cost 8 dollars)

We did get a deep fried Mars bar though. Nick and I had put "deep fried Snickers" on our bucket list and this was close enough. I know... don't be too underwhelmed by our bucket list.

There was some jousting. It was an 80 year old man VERSUS a 12 year old girl. The old man won. I chalk it up to life experience.

Then there was some sheep wrangling. This was actually interesting. Especially when the children ran wild and hit the sheep with their plastic Celt swords... Unfortunately Nick and I were too classy to snap a picture of that. (Or not quick enough to whip out the camera)

** I don't mean to say that everyone in MS is a redneck, only that many rednecks attended this festival, and rednecks in MS are unlike anything else.

it's my birthday.

2011-12-01T17:24:00.001-05:00

Stay at home mom birthday.

I opened my presents.

I curled my hair.

I gave Owen a bath, and when forcefully removing a kitten from the bathtub was scratched by that kitten. Deeply.

Kitten got put in time out for scratching, knocking over her food dish, and breaking three ornaments this morning. Kitten is single handedly trying to ruin my birthday. Now kitten is laying peacefully behind me as if nothing ever happened.

Did I mention kitten ate the dog's food which gave her diarrhea which she stepped in and left a trail of poopy kitten prints from her litter box... for the second day in a row?

twi-hard.

2011-11-26T21:00:00.001-05:00

I highly recommend that you all see Breaking Dawn.

I laughed so hard that I peed my pants a little bit. That and I really enjoy R. Patz looking really uncomfortable and embarrassed that he was in this movie in the first place.

And I laughed so hard I cried.

ladies who lunch.

2011-11-21T22:49:00.001-05:00

Have you seen this SNL episode featuring Kristin Wigg and her envy of Amy Poehler's tiny hat?

"Tiny hats were the rage at fashion week!"

Nick and I saw some real ladies who lunch wearing legit tiny hats.

I tip my hat to you.

goodwill gems.

2011-11-17T22:37:00.001-05:00

There isn't a large selection in a mississippi goodwill. This is because people actually shop there. Nick and I were there because we were looking for a majestic wolf t-shirt. (I can't indulge why, not yet) We had no luck with the wolf tee, but here are some t-shirts we did find.

Wow. Did this friendship end badly? At least he could have kept it to put in his souvenir t-shirt blanket.

Ouch. That hurts. Especially coming from Mississippi. Don't you put on airs Mississippi!!

Eastbound and Down. Kenny mother (insert curse word) ing Powers ... well you know.

they're baaack.

2011-11-16T09:57:00.001-05:00

The Animorphs are back! With new holographic covers! I used to read these like it was my job in middle school... and kind of into high school. I eventually stopped. No really, I did. But not before I had about 50. I'm glad they are back on the shelves. So more children can read about kids who encounter an alien species that gives them the ability to morph into animals to fight the evil slug aliens the "yeerks."

Yeah.

three wolf moon.

2011-11-11T16:01:00.001-05:00

from amazon.com

My brother tipped me off to this. If you go on the Three Wolf Moon t-shirt reviews on Amazon they speak of it's immense power and influence. My favorite review?

Unfortunately I already had this exact picture tattooed on my chest, but this shirt is very useful in colder weather.

Go ahead. Click to read more.

waaahhh.

2011-11-09T12:01:00.000-05:00

I'm lonely. It's because I don't have any friends. I'm probably going to eat Burger King and then casually not mention it to Nick.

Pout over and out!

my cat from hell.

2011-11-02T12:09:00.001-04:00

Twinkie bites me. We didn't encourage this. She does it anyway.

Twinkie tries to get in at night. She's not allowed in our room because she would not hesitate to bite baby feet or curl up with her little hot water heater at night. On his head. So she tries to get in.

road trippin.

2011-11-01T12:50:00.000-04:00

The mall. You take it for granted. It's always there.

There is no mall in Southern Mississippi. No Macy's. No Loft. No Pottery Barn. Nick and I went Baton Rouge to go to the mall, it smelled so delicious. We saw the Mississippi, Nick saw LSU, and Owen blew out his diaper.

This weekend we went to New Orleans. Let's just say with a wrong turn down Bourbon Street I turned into the worst mother ever. We took an immediate turn off of it... right after the wall of ladies va-jay-jays and just before the voodoo apothecary.

famous beignets

right behind this trolley there is a man being arrested for public drunkeness.
true story.

ever feel like you look good... then you see a picture of yourself?

pictures.

2011-10-27T20:00:00.001-04:00

Nick takes good pictures.

That was a third grade sentence. Bear with me as I am suffering from an illness. I'll try again.

My husband excels in the photographic arts. Here are a few of his pictures.

tiny tree frog that lives in our bush. he's about 2 inches long.

foggy pearl river.

pearl river again.

cat.

2011-10-26T17:36:00.001-04:00

I found this while searching for Twinkie halloween costumes on etsy.

Maybe I could make Twinks a dapper sailor suit.

Yeah, I know imma crazy cat lady- so what!

i'm a grown up.

2011-10-20T18:24:00.000-04:00

Here are some signs that I am in fact a grown up. I guess grown ups call themselves "adults."

So here are the top 5 reasons I have entered adulthood.

We joined Sam's Club. It's really grown up to buy in bulk.
I eat candy whenever I want (let's be real, I eat french fries whenever I want)
I pay all my own bills (Nick pays all of our bills)
There is a baby on my couch... and it's mine.
Nick is landscaping out front.

the wind.

2011-10-19T10:53:00.000-04:00

Nick and I went to church on Sunday. It made me real "california" sick. The sermon included a verse on the wind. The pastor commented that we don't know where the wind comes from or why it blows. To which Nick leaned over and commented "I do know where the wind comes from. And I do know why it blows."

My little meteorologist. Well, he's not so little.

the south.

2011-10-18T10:49:00.000-04:00

Zales sales woman "Where are ya'll from originally?"

Me "We're from Maryland"

Zales sales woman "Ohhhh, yum. Clam chowder."

Me (Blank Stare) "Oh, yeah. Clam... Chowder..."

I didn't want to hurt her feelings. There are a lot of states on the East Coast. And Massachusetts starts with an "M" too.

mom.

2011-10-17T10:46:00.000-04:00

It's my mom's birthday. I often speak of how much I love my mother. She's the best.

No really.

So happy birthday mom!

the twinkie whisperer.

2011-10-05T21:16:00.000-04:00

Just call him Jack Hannah. Dr. Dolittle. Cesar Milan.

Just don't call him Old Mother Hubbard.

smelly

2011-09-16T13:35:00.002-04:00

Something smells bad in my house and I don't know what it is.

Things it could be:

Me. I haven't showered.
Cat litter.
Molly.
The garage.
Owen's poopy diaper pail.
A phantom smell that does not really exist.

And I have done nothing about it because seeking out a smelly scent is priority none with a newborn.

oh but blogging, now that's important. keep in mind you don't have to move (and therefore wake up the baby) if you are blogging. i haven't even eaten yet! i'm so hungry. so very hungry.

Sorry for the ramble. I mostly wanted to blog to get rid of the Selena Gomez picture.

i love selena gomez.

2011-09-12T22:22:00.000-04:00

rumor is she's pregnant with his baby... mmmmm doubtful!

I'm not 12.

I watch Wizards of Waverly Place.

I have downloaded Selena Gomez songs.

I actually kind of like the Biebs even though the picture in google images of him touching Selena's butt makes me feel very, very uncomfortable. And even though she sometimes looks like his maiden aunt on the red carpet. (That's right- I follow S.G. on the red carpet)

For all you losers who don't know who "the Beibs" is that is Justin Bieber who remains very popular though I can only ascribe one hit song to his name.

I'm creepy.

you're mootiful.

2011-09-11T22:17:00.000-04:00

Once upon a time I got obsessed with chalkboard paint.

After I painted the glass of this frame to a chalkboard surface I asked Nick to write something on it.

That is what he drew me. A cow. Telling me that I am "mootiful."

I can't bear to erase it.

more about the cat.

2011-09-10T22:08:00.003-04:00

My new computer buddy.

She's less interested in the computer and more interested in eating the mouse cord. Or anything of value in my house.

Fun fact. I held her up to my face to cover up my baby acne breakout.

twinkie cat.

2011-09-08T19:38:00.000-04:00

I've been lying to you. Lying by omission. Lying about Twinkie Cat.

Nick and I got a cat when I was 38 weeks pregnant. I could fill you in on the details. Boredom. No mall. SPCA visit. Peer Pressure. Guinness World Record holders. 5 dollars. Twinkie Cat. More like Twinkie Kitten.
I was going to name her Professor Minerva McGonnagal, but it didn't roll off the tongue when she was biting me and I had to yell at her.
I didn't tell you because I felt terribly irresponsible. She hasn't managed to suck the baby's breath yet- so we're good. Molly has lost weight, which is excellent because Molly Weasley was 15 lbs overweight. Most of the time I love Twinkie. Sometimes I don't, like when she is chewing on the laptop cord and I am breast feeding. Or when she learned how to unroll the toilet paper in the bathroom.

So now you know. My dirty little secret. It's a kitten. A kitten named Twinkie.

not quite back.

2011-08-30T21:57:00.000-04:00

had a baby. will blog when brain clears.

coffee table.

2011-08-22T11:38:00.000-04:00

I do know that it is not possible to be a real person and have your house look like the Pottery Barn catalogue. It's just not functional. It doesn't mean I like it.

As an unemployed pregnant lady who is stuck inside from the heat the couch is what you could consider my base camp. Pet care items, my breakfast, my ever present cup, and my basket which is not quite decorative as it holds remotes and not vases of flowers and antique books.

This is what I want my coffee table to look like.

Nobody watches tv in PB world. Where do they keep their remotes??

uh oh.

2011-08-20T14:50:00.000-04:00

Okay, this is a pocket size body massaging tool.

Alright, this looks like something totally different. Ee gads! But hey! It's great for travel!

world's most patriotic greeting card.

2011-08-19T14:45:00.000-04:00

Each branch of the military is different. I have my doctor's appointments on the air force base. Nick and I frequent the exchange and the commissary there- it's bigger than the navy one. The air force, I think, may be the most patriotic branch of the military.

This caught my eye as we passed.

Gold embossing? A bald eagle super imposed in front of a gently waving American flag? The words America and Country super large?

This my friends is the world's most patriotic greeting card. The man in uniform holding it only adds to it's authenticity and patriotism.

more grocery store finds.

2011-08-18T14:45:00.000-04:00

This brand, Zapps, makes a lot of chips. You may remember they were responsible for the flavor called "crawtators."
It doesn't stop there.

Yeah, you can have Voodoo chips. I thought about trying them, then reconsidered. I felt they may bring a curse on my family lasting generations. Best to stay away.

more about chairs. boring!

2011-08-12T14:18:00.000-04:00

Currently I am obsessed with recovering my lame Ikea chair. I plan on asking for a sewing machine for my birthday (in December) and I like to plan ahead. I guess I'll have to learn how to sew before I commit to sewing a new slipcover, which I hear is pretty hard.

Here is the fabric I want to use. I will remain forever optimistic about my future in reupholstering.

swamp a licious

2011-08-11T14:14:00.000-04:00

found

I saw an armadillo yesterday. That's not the best part. The best part is that the armadillo was alive! Just chillin' in the median of my neighborhood. So far I've seen an armadillo, raccoons, dragon flies, fire ants, geckos, frogs, and rabbits. Oh, and an alligator, but it was road kill.

Swamp time!

humiliating dog photos.

2011-08-09T12:28:00.000-04:00

There is nothing I get more pleasure out of than humiliating Molly Weasley.

Oh Molly, that bed is for cats! Use your head!

sassy pants.

stereotype.

2011-08-08T15:32:00.000-04:00

Sometimes stereotypes are real.

Did I mention they ran across the street to snap this picture after Nick took flat stanley's picture here?

torrential.

2011-08-07T12:34:00.000-04:00

The back of our rental home is up on stilts. We thought that was odd. Then it began to rain.

thank goodness someone had the foresight to raise up the ac.

those ripples are waves.

That was when we understood.

my friend tom.

2011-08-06T12:15:00.001-04:00

My friend Tom is in the ocean. I'm pretty sure it's very boring. He's probably getting pretty grumpy the longer he floats around out there and eats beef ragu from the freezer along with other Navy delicacies. He is also getting farther and farther away from his wife, although he may have been so far away already that he is in fact getting closer to her. I don't know. I didn't take Geography in college. Actually, I did, but I learned about Europe so it can't possibly apply to this situation.

So think of Tom my friends. Send a mental thank you his way for he is serving his country.

And Tom- I heard there is an x-box in your state room... so I know you are in good hands. Tell Eric and Joey to take good care of you. Meaning buy you candy bars and say encouraging things to you every so often.

grocery.

2011-08-05T12:27:00.000-04:00

I've found some interesting things in the grocery stores down here.

Potted meat is one of those things.

gulf coast.

2011-08-04T12:24:00.002-04:00

Nick and I decided to get out of the house. We went to some seafood restaurant on stilts. We discovered hermit crabs. Fascinated with these creatures I took multiple pictures and videos. Now you must view them if you so choose.

there is a hermit crab in every single shell you see.

I'm not sure why I was so amused by the hermit crabs. It could be because I don't leave the house very often in the severe heat advisory. It could be that I'm simple minded. I hope you are equally as amused by these hermit crabs. Maybe I'll just illegally collect them and sell them in a stand in front of my house.

behold a hermit crab who is "booking it"

he ain't nobody's fool.

i hate you mississippi.

2011-08-03T12:45:00.001-04:00

Right Now
SEVERE


Fair Extreme heat index. Outdoor exposure should be limited.
93°F
Feels Like: 124° Get FREE weather on your desktop
Past 24-hr: Precip: 0.11 in (est.) Snow: 0 in
Wind: From W at 3mph
Through 5pm: Mostly sunny with temperatures steady near 92F. Winds WSW at 5 to 10 mph.

diamondhead vs diamondhead

2011-08-02T14:28:00.001-04:00

I live in Diamondhead, MS which is named after Diamondhead, HI.

Diamondhead, Hawaii.

Diamondhead, Mississippi.

Diamondhead.

comfortable. tropical. perfection.

Diamondhead.

94. 105 heat index. heat advisory. don't go outside.

Where would I rather be? I choose not to disclose the answer.

culture.

2011-08-01T11:11:00.000-04:00

Embrace the culture.

In California this meant wearing a scarf with shorts and getting ray ban-esque glasses. It also meant being late to everything.

In Mississippi it means.... well I'm not sure yet. It might have something to do with ordering sweet tea without first asking if that is even an option. It might even mean saying "sir" or "ma'am" when conversing with strangers. I hope it doesn't mean learning how to noodle catfish or even eating catfish for that matter.

Check out this blog, Stuff Cajun People Like. I found this linked post pretty darn amusing. It may help me be a better Gulf Coaster.

mississippi law.

2011-07-30T12:57:00.001-04:00

California. Maryland. Liberal.

No Smoking... anywhere! No talking on your cell phone! No littering!

Mississippi?

Well now, that's a different story. I, who am nine months pregnant, was asked if I would like to sit in the smoking or non smoking section of Olive Garden. Olive Garden still has a smoking section?? Soon after I was offered a watermelon martini. I decided to get the raspberry lemonade instead.
Then Nick informed me that Mississippi has no law against an open container in the car. Meaning if I were driving- Nick could be knocking back a Miller Lite. Also meaning that Louisiana (who also has loose open container laws) opened up a chain of drive through daiquiri bars.

really?

Alcoholic daiquiri bars.

God bless the USA!

san diego.

2011-07-29T15:53:00.000-04:00

i miss you.

sad face.

pipe.

2011-07-28T14:28:00.001-04:00

Nick has a Gandalf pipe. I didn't know this, though apparently he acquired it in college. There was only one thing to do. It was obvious.

Get Molly to smoke Nick's Gandalf pipe.

Hey Molly, Middle Earth called! They want their pipe back!

Nerd post accomplished.

gutters.

2011-07-27T14:27:00.000-04:00

Dear house,

Why don't you have gutters? I'm done with this whole "waterfall on my doorstep" thing.

Love,

Kaley

chairs.

2011-07-26T13:18:00.000-04:00

Stuck in the house. Watching HGTV. Decided to research chairs.

I want these chairs.

target.

pottery barn. sigh.

Nick says we can't buy new chairs on a whim. Hater!

wash and dry.

2011-07-23T08:20:00.000-04:00

i own these. technically nick paid for them (and everything else- ever)
... but let's not get into technicalities right now!

Wash clothes?

I can do that whenever I want.

Dry them?

I can do that too.

I like to call that living in the lap of luxury. Though I'm still in denial about the utility bill increase...

most inappropriate overheard comment. ever.

2011-07-22T08:18:00.000-04:00

I overheard a man say this to a waiter about his children at a restaurant recently.

"Now I can see why Kasey Anthony did what she did"

Way too soon man. Actually, you should never feel far enough removed from it to talk about killing your children. Creepy.

po boy.

2011-07-21T07:13:00.000-04:00

A Po Boy.

In case you don't know it's a type of sandwich. Actually, it's just a sandwich with a different name. Nick and I ordered these for dinner last night. Do you know how ridiculous it sounds to order a "po boy" when you care about diction?

Say it. Outloud. Now.

Po Boy.

Oh sure, you can say it if you add a southern twang, but will the southern waitress coin you a fool when you use non regional dialect to say "I would like a" and then pop in a twangy drawl with "po boy?" I personally had to preface my order with "I am painfully not southern so I would like this- and I can't say it correctly" while pointing to which po boy I wanted.

beauvoir.

2011-07-20T02:13:00.000-04:00

Jefferson Davis. This is not the man who invented peanut butter, though that was my first guess to Nick. Nay, George Washington Carver can take credit for that discovery.

As it turns out Jefferson Davis was president of the Confederate States.

Monticello has nothing on you Beauvoir! Sike!

Why am I talking about Jefferson Davis? It is because his house, Beauvoir, is located in my new hometown. Unfortunately it is not much to behold as it was destroyed in Hurricane Katrina along with most of the homes on the coast.

I am not much of a Southerner. I didn't even know the president of the confederacy. Sorry Mrs. Pantall, my eighth grade social studies teacher!

sewing.

2011-07-17T21:52:00.000-04:00

i am going to make this pillow i saw on etsy.com... one day.....

One day I'm not going to suck at crafts. It's pretty much general knowledge that I suck at them. I try not to, but I do. Nick suggests that I take up crocheting, but I think I have crochet needle dyslexia. I'm not sure it will work out for me.

Right now I have my sights set on a sewing machine. The sewing machine will be my tool of ultimate destruction (of crappy crafts!) Just as Batman uses gadgets as his super power I shall use the sewing machine for mine. Call me the Bruce Wayne of sewing.

Now. I just have to get a sewing machine. And learn to sew. Who will be my Alfred?

harry. of course.

2011-07-15T12:00:00.000-04:00

I'm getting old. A large part of my large pregnant self said "Can't you just wait until this movie comes out on DVD?" Yeah. I know. Me.

No! I will go out in a pregnant blaze of potter fire. I will see this movie tonight, even if the lines frighten me! (Will there be any lines in Gulfport? Are there enough people?)

That being said I dressed Molly Weasley up for the movie premier. Nick heard me chuckling maniacally from the office, but for some reason he didn't think Molly in HP glasses was quite as funny as I did.

this is so degrading.

i really think she won't stop.

this is the one that gets me every time.

i am so humiliated.

finally she is satiated.

i am going to eat these glasses!

crawtator blues.

2011-07-14T12:13:00.000-04:00

I've PCS'd before. (PCS= Permanent Change of Station) It was sad to leave Maryland and come to California, but then again, it was California. Nick and I drowned our pain by taking in the Pacific Ocean, eating fancy cuisine, taking in some Padres games, and laying around in the sun.

PCS-ing to Mississippi hasn't been like that. I realize it's only been a week. Folks, it's hot. I don't go outside unless I want my feet to swell up to giant proportions. Target is 30 minutes away. My doctor is 40 minutes away. I. am. stuck. I have to get over the juvenile anxiety I face in every new place. Generally I am a stick in the mud. Let's see how long it takes me to get into the Mississippi flow of things.

If all else fails I can curl up on the couch with some cajun crawtators and watch some Swamp People.

west meets south.

2011-07-13T12:18:00.000-04:00

This is for all my fellow San Diegans.

in san diego can hunting is like easter egg hunting. check out this bag of cans a kindly neighbor
hid next to the dumpster for his friends!

Recycling is good. Jack Johnson wrote a song about. It helps the earth. That is why for the past two years I have been throwing my cans into the nearest trash receptacle I could find. Wait a minute Kaley- that sounds like the opposite of recycling. Oh no, it isn't. In San Diego many men and women make their living by getting cans out of trash cans and taking them to the recycling center. In California they have passed a law called "No Can Left Behind" and it requires trash cans to be combed regularly every half hour. I personally heard my dumpster being rifled through at all hours of the night. I once threw a can in a trashcan in a park and not one minute later it was saved to go to the recycling plant! So not only was I a recycler by proxy, I was also donating 5 cents to a person in need.

This doesn't happen here in Mississippi. There are not many homeless here. In fact, I have not seen one pan handler. This could be because they can get trailers and live off of the swamp. I don't know. I just know I have not seen a single homeless encampment since I have arrived. It also means that I have to start actually recycling my cans.

sweet tea.

2011-07-11T22:35:00.000-04:00

"Excuse me, do you have sweet tea?"

"Kaley! You'll expose us as the yankees we are!"

Boy, I've often thought to myself that restaurants should have more sweetened tea. I expected more sweet tea in the South, but I did not think big enough. Cracker Barrel has sweet tea. I should have known before I asked that silly question. You know what's even more wonderful? Subway has sweet tea.

do you need some high calorie sugar tea with that multigrain turkey sub?

It turns out those Fuze tea machines carry southern sweet tea! I've only lived in health conscious states where Fuze markets green teas. People don't get fat because the food tastes bad. That's all I'm sayin'.

So concludes my Mississippi observation post # 1.

series preview.

2011-07-10T22:26:00.000-04:00

this is our new house. money goes pretty far in the swamp.

So sorry for the prolonged absence. What with the moving and pregnancy and no internet blogging has not been one of my top priorities. When I get my internet connected you can look forward to a series on Mississippi. Already the cultural differences are astounding. The culture mildly less shocking than the humidity.

I'll leave you with this quote from Anchorman.

"I am completely miserable San Diego! It's so damn hot!"

geography is lame.

2011-07-04T00:05:00.000-04:00

grand canyon. not impressed.

"Mom, Nick says I'm dramatic."
Mom turns, eyebrows raised
"I think it's just a part of who you are"

Okay, so I'm dramatic. So I dabble in hyperbole. So I offend and confuse people with my blanket statements on just about everything... My point being that I hate the petrified forest. I bet you didn't see that one coming. Yeah. Turns out the petrified forest is mega lame. Trust me, I drove through it. It's in Arizona. The temperature? 110 degrees fahrenheit. That's 29 degrees celsius. My dramatic streak leans toward fahrenheit. This is beside the point.

Quick! What do you think of when you hear forest? You think of trees that are standing up. This is not what the petrified forest is like. The trees didn't get petrified standing up- you can think "Duh" but you shouldn't. Petrified wood is wood that is more boring than regular wood. It was so boring it turned itself into STONE instead of the living thing it once was. Then it moved to the desert. Maybe sin made the petrified forest. Or maybe it's where the garden of eden was and the angel got bored and burned it down with it's sword of holy fire. We all know once holy fire burns something it doesn't grow back. It's like Round Up in that way.

"you made me get out of the car in 110 degree weather for this?"

The National government charges ten dollars to drive through 29 miles of deserted desert with rock trees on it. They employ a person to work in a desolate booth and say "Please don't steal the petrified wood." My point being that there should be no deficit when the govt is raking in hundreds of dollars DAILY from a desert tourist attraction.

My rant is done on the petrified forest.

lol

2011-06-29T23:18:00.000-04:00

Boy that was funny. Funnier than a smiley emoticon. I'll probably text back LOL. Lying is not in my vernacular. I can not tell a lie. So, unless I literally "laugh out loud" I can not type lol.
Let's be real, the smiley emoticon makes you seem lamer than lame.
What do you do when someone texted you something that you found mildly amusing and sparked a smirk? Let's add a new abbreviated phrase into the texting lexicon. TWMA. That was mildly amusing. Or we could invent a smirking smiley emoticon. Either or.

on the road again.

2011-06-28T20:45:00.000-04:00

How you know when you have been road tripping too long.

Nick- "Let's take our picture with all the road kill we see."

anniversary.

2011-06-27T23:18:00.000-04:00

June 21 was my 3 year anniversary with Nick. It was my first anniversary pregnant.

First Anniversary.

Second Anniversary.

PREGNANT Anniversary.

My four year anniversary present to Nick is going to be getting my waistline back to it's previous measurement.

road trip.

2011-06-27T00:36:00.000-04:00

I haven't been blogging because as it turns out, moving from San Diego and road tripping to Mississippi is a lot of work.

Nick and I have been through the Mojave Desert, Arizona, Texas, Louisiana, and Mississippi. We'll be on the road for a few more days to see family. To tide you over enjoy this road trip picture.

miss.

2011-06-16T01:30:00.001-04:00

"Where can a dead man go?

A question with an answer only dead men know.

But I'm gonna bet they never really feel at home

if they spent a lifetime learning how to live in Rome."

i'm pretending as if these are my friends.
they are really sean and sara watkins who sing the song lyrics.
it kind of seems like we're friends though, right?!

I spent my whole first year in San Diego missing home. I'm leaving it in less than a week. I've come to realize that I have many people that I am going to truly miss. PCS-ing to Mississippi is a blessing from the Lord, I refuse to look at it any other way. Pining will take place in my heart, but I am going to turn it outward and invest in friends to enjoy for the next two years of my life.

The more people you learn to love, the more people you leave to miss.

diva dog.

2011-06-13T14:19:00.000-04:00

Molly Weasely. One thought I struggle with constantly is whether or not she is stupid. I can't tell if she is dumb as a rock or smart as a fox. Maybe she is acting stupid to manipulate me. For a fact I can tell you she is clumsy. And that she is a major diva. Pointer/labs don't strike me as a diva breed. I would peg a poodle, chihuahua, or even a terrier as a diva, but not a lab.

I had my crib in my car for about a week. It was waiting there for Nick to come home and bring it inside. Molly didn't like sharing the back with a box. She rode shotgun with me for most of the week. Then when Nick came home I had to ride shotgun on the way home from picking him up. Molly refused go to the back. This was the end result. She only slid down after sharing the seat with me for five minutes. She was too lazy to put the energy into sharing the seat and eventually slid down into the seat well.

What will she do when she has to share her territory with a baby?

california, i will miss you.

2011-06-12T14:18:00.000-04:00

In the military you make your friends your family. I'm going to miss a lot of people here in San Diego. So many people have been great, true friends.

I'm going to miss my church family. I'm going to miss my coworker with whom I have spent everyday with since last April. Well, work day at least. I'm going to miss my favorite Navy wife. And I'm going to miss Tom. I'm also going to miss California.

It's also a little odd that Owen will not be in California, where he has incubated in my womb for oh so long. To be honest, he won't remember Mississippi either. Lord help my little navy baby.

The Lord has blessed me in ways I could not have anticipated during my time in California. It is this knowledge that comforts me as I move on to our next duty station. He's weaving a divine path for my little family and I anticipate great things from Him in Mississippi.

swamp.

2011-06-09T17:12:00.003-04:00

Swamp people. You know that show? The one where Cajun people motor around the swamps in their overalls and shoot alligators? Those are now my people.

While watching some men track down a rouge alligator I hear the narrator mention in passing that they are on the Pearl River. Pearl River?? Let me show you a map to illustrate why I found this disturbing. (You may want to click on it to make it larger. I can't figure out how to star my location)

Me: Slidell. Alligator hunters: Pearl River.

Speaking of the swamp, I've been thinking about calling Owen my swamp baby. There's a problem. Every time I think "Swamp Baby" I inevitably end up thinking about "Swamp Butt" which is when the humidity makes your crotch all swampy. I'll have a swamp baby... but I'll also have swamp butt. I think my mother taught me that term...

silverfish.

2011-06-08T13:24:00.000-04:00

Listen. I know no one ever wants to actually watch videos that other people think are funny. With that said, please watch this video that I think is funny.

My favorite is song #2.

move. moving.

2011-06-06T21:32:00.000-04:00

"You look sick Mrs. P"

Usually I would be insulted by this, but it was coming from one of my favorite students. It's true. I do look sick. Sick and tired of moving with the United States Navy. Their websites don't work. They have long lines to wait in. They take your husband away at the most inopportune times.

What's a girl to do?

Well, I got a Chicken McNugget meal.

This only made me feel worse- if that was possible. Though I must admit it felt good going down. Now what do I do? Surely there is an applicable Proverb or Psalm. I just can't think of one. I'll take a nap instead. One of those jack the ripper with the beard naps. I think I meant Jack Twinkle. That's not right either. Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack doesn't wake up from his nap for a long time then has a beard that goes over a candlestick. No. After typing "jack nap beard fairy tale" into google I have realized that the story I am referring to is Rip Van Winkle.

Caution: blogging while pregnant may cause the above paragraph to happen.

xander.

2011-06-06T00:17:00.000-04:00

World's best nephew? That's easy. Xander.

For his third birthday Nick picked out the perfect pirate card. (alliteration) These days perfection comes with a pirate eye patch and gold coins. Black beard in the making.

procrastinator.

2011-06-03T13:28:00.000-04:00

There is a pile of important documents building on my dining room table. There is a to do list next to those documents. I'm moving in 20 days or less. 75% of my to do involves calling strangers. Many of my moving plans are based on fluid dates from the USN. Plus my stomach is in my rib cage.

Maybe I just won't do any of it.

a parting of the ways.

2011-06-01T23:45:00.000-04:00

It's true. Nick and I are about to become the newest residents of Mississippi or Louisiana. It would be great if you could keep us in your prayers for finding the right house at the right price in the right neighborhood. When I begin to feel overwhelmed I sometimes turn to the immortal words of L.M. Montgomery, via Anne Shirley:

"But we're together still," said Anne cheerily. "We mustn't let next week rob us of this week's joy. I hate the thought of going myself - home and I are such good friends. Talk of being lonesome! It's I who should groan. You'll be here with any number of your old friends! While I shall be a lone among strangers, not knowing a soul!"

"We have come to a parting of the ways, I suppose," said Anne thoughtfully. "We had to come to it. Do you think, Diana, that being grown-up is really as nice as we used to imagine it would be when we were children?"

Oh Anne. So wise.

blame it on the alcohol.

2011-05-26T20:54:00.000-04:00

Here is an example where I should have intervened and stopped a conversation between 5th graders, but I let it go on because I'm tired, pregnant, and was slightly amused. You may not notice, but I changed the names to protect the innocent.

Pluto: Did you just say vodka?
Mars: Vodka is alcohol with water added.
Venus: Yeah, and then you set it on fire!
Mars: Wine has healing qualities, if your feet smell, then it takes the smell away.
Venus: I saw a video of a guy who set his eye on fire with vodka.

Then I intervened. This is what your kids are talking about. This is what your kids are watching on television and youtube when you are not supervising them. Are you scared yet?

"do your feet smell?" "they did, but not after this glass of wine"

Squanto. He who must not be named.

2011-05-24T01:35:00.000-04:00

The church I attend holds its services in an elementary school auditorium. Periodically they will have student work displayed. I must admit that this Sunday I was quite distracted from the sermon. What the assignment was, I cannot tell you. I can only tell you this. Voldemort would win.

Squanto is short for Tisquantum. He was the native american who taught the pilgrims to plant corn. I know this because I did a student teaching lesson on it, back when I still had a passion for teaching. This seems an unfair match up to me. At least peg him against John Smith who had a musket. All Squanto had was a corn cob. Corn cob vs. Elder wand. I'm going to go with Elder wand. A helpful indian vs. the most powerful dark wizard of all time... once again, I'm going with Riddle. I'll give Squanto this. He has a pretty B.A. "q" in his name while VoLdemort only has a misplaced capital "L".

older brother.

2011-05-23T22:25:00.002-04:00

RIP Raul.

Who wouldn't want an older brother? I guess that depends on the time frame we are peering into. Having an older brother wasn't all "protector of my honor" and "reliable sibling" in the early 2000's. Our relationship changed a lot over the years. First I'm sure it was very amiable, as we were one year apart. Often I could convince Marshall to play Barbie with me. This meant he set up a protective perimeter around the Barbie mansion consisting of life size GI Joe dolls, which were very en vogue at the time, and defended Barbie's honor against the likes of Genie from Aladdin. Then high school came. Enter a schema shift. Marshall was cool. I was painfully uncool. I would dare say I was his Hermione, meaning I was a constant stream of admonitions and annoyance. These photos bear witness to our relationship in high school.

my favorite part of this photo is mom ceased to intervene, she just kept recording.

hands free. i'm not talking cell phones.

2011-05-23T01:25:00.000-04:00

if you are delusional enough to buy this, click here!

This seems like the world's WORST idea. Perhaps if you had a service dog or I'm sure Lassie could handle this responsibility. If Molly were attached to a bike I would end up with road rash on my entire left side, a broken femur, and a lawsuit. Once again, world's worst idea. Also, I feel like that dog should be wearing a helmet. Elementary bike safety! And I thought german shepherds were smart.

high school. musical.

2011-05-22T00:39:00.001-04:00

When watching High School Musical the parallels to my own life are undeniable. Meeting my soul mate junior year. Starring in high school musicals. Looking attractive.
Alright, alright, the only parallel is that I was dating Nick in high school. We didn't have dream scholarships. We didn't even have that many friends.
I know none of you want to admit that you have seen HSM3, but I'm going to call you out and assume that you have. If nothing else you got to see a 20 year old Zac Efron shirtless. There is nothing wrong with that. In the third movie Troy and Gabriella face the cold reality that they may have to have a long distance relationship. When I flashback to my 17 year old self, I see myself in the basement with Nick, sobbing with my face on the floor because he was staying to go to community college and I was going (gasp) 2 hours away. I remember Nick giving me a promise ring before I went away on the same bench he proposed to me on... at least I think it was. My pregnancy memory is hazy and my hormones may have me painting a rosier and more romantic picture than reality. When we fast forward to present day I find myself sitting on the couch, pregnant and alone, watching High School Musical 3.

harry and the stringed instrument.

2011-05-20T01:18:00.000-04:00

Love. Marriage. How does a husband show his love for you after three years? How can you know he still cares?

Here is how. He learns to play the Harry Potter theme on his ukulele.

tumbleweed.

2011-05-19T02:12:00.000-04:00

California is full of little surprises. For instance, May and June are months that reek of fog and grayness. There are tsunami warnings as it is located on the junction of two tectonic plates.

I'll admit. I did stop in the middle of the road and take this photo.

It also has tumbleweeds.

I was just waiting for Wiley Coyote and Roadrunner to run across the road.

prince nicholas of wales?

2011-05-17T01:28:00.001-04:00

My husband is a British citizen. His family hails from Wales. When Nick's Nana was shown a picture of Nick in his Naval uniform she mistook him for Prince William.

What do you think?

In case you were wondering, Prince William is the one on the top.

teacher appreciation.

2011-05-16T01:28:00.000-04:00

My class hates me. Not all of them, just most of them. I won't go into all the reasons why or how, but most of them have elevated me to the level of Dolores Umbridge or that nasty headmistress from Matilda. (Disclaimer: I don't deserve it) The class is, however, facing a low level mutiny. You see, some of them, yes a very few, they like me. These precious gems brought me flowers to show their appreciation.

mr. darcy.

2011-05-08T01:47:00.000-04:00

The perfect movie for an emotional night? Pride and Prejudice.

I would like to be a little more like Elizabeth Bennett. Telling off important people in society with no remorse could be so handy. She's obnoxious. I can relate.

who wouldn't love a man who stares.

Mr. Darcy reminds me of Nick. The way he just stares at her instead of replying. It's a trait I live with everyday. Except when I am alone for many consecutive days. That's when I miss his silence. I love that Mr. Darcy can't say what is on his mind. He hates to speak. He hates to engage in conversation with people he doesn't know. I love that about Mr. Darcy because I love my husband- who is exceptionally like that.

Women of the world- I tell you- I married my own personal Mr. Darcy... unfortunately without the sprawling English Manor and gads upon gads of money.

cinco de mayo

2011-05-06T01:03:00.000-04:00

In celebration of Cinco de Mayo I had Taco Bell and watched a terrible Mandy Moore movie.

this has nothing to do with cinco de mayo. or does it?

I want to say something about Cinco De Mayo. I don't know what the historical significance of this day is. I vaguely recall it has something to do with some sort of battle or war. I also recall it is a Mexican holiday. Beyond that I do not care enough to learn anymore about it. Don't comment on this blog and tell me what it is about. I don't care about it. Even a little bit.

this photo, taken at chichenitza, captures my feelings on pointless holidays.

I'm going to list the top 5 holidays I don't give a rat's cheesy behind about.
They are as follows. They are in no particular order.

Cinco De Mayo
Boxing Day
St. Patrick's Day
Any Canadian holiday on my calender
National Hat Day

And there you have it. I now declare my bitter tirade against pointless holidays over.

i was wrong.

2011-05-05T01:09:00.000-04:00

I'm a fool! A fool I tell you! Listen to my sorrowful tale full of lament and heartbreak.

I moved to San Diego in 2009. It was gloomy, foggy, rainy and generally nothing like anyone told me it would be like. I called them liars. I pouted. I vented my fury in this very blog you are reading. They rebuked me. They told me I was mistaken, that this weather was an exception to the rule. I laughed in their faces. Surely I, I who had been here for 6 months knew better than they. Couldn't they just accept global warming and their own folly?

It was I who was wrong. I was mistaken. I have just experienced the best 6 months of weather in my entire existence on planet earth. The only weather that's going to top this is the weather in heaven with Jesus. There are no mosquitos. The sun is cloudless. The humidity... well, what humidity? It hasn't rained since Christmas. A refreshing sea breeze blows continuously. I have a tan. I have a better tan than I had after I vacationed in Hawaii. Hawaii. I am currently watching the Mission Bay Roller Coaster light up which is miles away courtesy of the visibility and vistas only California can offer.

I am an idiot. It is awesome here. AWESOME. I literally pinch myself every single solitary day. I ask myself "Is this real? Do I live here? Am I really experiencing this weather?"

Soon I will say farewell to the world's most awesome place and say hello to the hellaciously humid and bug filled state of Mississippi. They boast the title of most obese state. Further boasting includes swamps and alligators and the sophisticated department store known simply as "Belk's." You never know. Perhaps I will be writing a post like this about Mississippi when I am about to move on to our next duty station.

old school navy.

2011-05-03T00:29:00.000-04:00

I want Nick to be able to kick it old school like these guys:

Beards circa 1899

I like the sassy one on the far right. Civil War Era Navy.

No, I don't mean their uniforms. No, I'm not referring to their piloting of wooden and steam ships. I'm talking about their majestic face hair. That's right Navy! Bring back the beards! Bring back the Dewey 'staches! Bring back intimidation and honor!