Monumental.

I'm not going to lie. I could care less about a lot of monuments on this earth that other people would be thrilled to see. I might have even blogged about this before, but since I can't remember I'll do it again!

I think probably a lot of people want to travel and see the world. I don't. However, since I married a travel bound man in the Navy, my feelings are bound to change. For your reading pleasure I have compiled a list of monuments that I enjoy and ones that are lame.

Lamest places, artifacts, and monuments.

1. Niagara Falls: Really? Not impressed. Talk about not living up to the hype!
2. Grand Canyon: A rock strewn cliff. Pass!
3. Washington Monument: I could take it or leave it.
4. Stone Hedge: Don't care about a bunch of rocks. Maybe the monoliths of Easter Island, but definitely not these.
5. The Mona Lisa: I mean okay, I haven't seen Stone Hedge or the Mona Lisa, but I could bet on the fact that I wouldn't like them.
6. The Wax Museum in Harper's Ferry, WVA: Trust me, this place is haunted and you should avoid it at all costs!!!

Suitably Impressive places, artifacts, and monuments.

1. Castles: I really don't care where. Any castle is interesting. My life's ambition is to see Hogwarts in Scotland.
2. Platform Nine and Three Quarters: I would go to London just to see this ratty old sign in King's Cross.
3. Chichenitza: This large Aztec building in Mexico was actually interesting. Mostly because they told gory tales of human sacrifice.
4. Newport, RI: This is my favorite city by the sea.
5. Constitution Hall in Philly: It is neat to see where our Founding Fathers did their thing.
6. The Colosseum in Rome: I could dig seeing the place that men fought lions to the death.

So there you have it. I'm sure I've convinced most of you not to travel with me, but just like Eustace in The Voyage of the Dawn Treader, I could have a change of heart on a journey of discovery at any point.

Navy List

This here Navy wife if at the point of... "Seriously?!" That's all I have to say on the subject of Nick being whisked away. Seriously?

I'm going to make a time countdown instead of blogging about something depressing like sleeping in an empty bed.

1- month I got to spend with Nick after Officer Candidate School(OCS)

location: Annapolis

2- months Nick was deployed on the JPJ

location: Middle East/Pacific Ocean?

3- months during which contact with Nick was at an all time low: OCS

location: Newport, RI

4- days that Nick spent driving cross country to go to San Diego.

location: United States of America

5- amount of phone calls I received during Nick's deployment

location: unknown!

6- Amount of times I've seen Nick since the end of February.

location: Newport, San Diego, Maryland, Mississippi

7- The amount of months I thought I would be apart from Nick. Ha ha!

8- The number of apartment complexes we looked at in San Diego!

12- This is how many months it's been since Nick and I stopped living together.

20- How many flights I've taken since then to see that man.

120- Amount of dollars for a phone call from Palau.

Okay, is this boring yet? I'm just trying to give you an insight into our life.

Here is my slogan: Hurry up and wait! Well I'm done waiting so I guess I'll just wait some more.

Good news, Nick gets to escape the monotony of Pascagoula and go to Cali for two weeks to get trained to shoot terrorists or something. Go Nick! Think of him tomorrow as he will get sprayed in the eyes with pepper spray- and I think I read somewhere that blue eyes are more sensitive. Oh and he is coming home at the end of the month!!!!!!!! His very last trip to Annapolis for months upon months.

Love, Kaley

School Daze

Listen, I know it's not the most original title-but bear with me here.

Substituting should be easy right? I mean, your just filling in. I have a college degree in Education. I have two years of experience. What's the big fat deal here? The big fat deal is that I tried to teach First Graders with IEP's today (individualized education plans). Alright, Third Grade is no problem. First Graders? How do these primary teachers do it?! One little girl didn't know which finger her thumb was. Some of them couldn't find the letter a. One chanted "going to the city in a taxi" the entire time I taught. That was actually kind of amusing.

Miraculously, after I had slammed my head on my desk and thought "What have I done!", the reading teacher came and offered me a lifeline! I'm going to teach them out of a scripted reading program! Shebang! Bonus! Minimal planning, guidance, security... all feelings my long-term sub self is loving. I've been saved!

In other news, November can't come soon enough! I mean I started listening to Sean Watkins non stop again. I always know that means I'm a little depressed! (Like when I sing "I've had enough of these gray streets, endless and empty" at the top of my lungs)

Gosh I married my husband because I liked him and wanted to see him more than once a month! Progress is picking up on the ship and he has a class every night this week. He does have to get pepper sprayed on Saturday then run an obstacle course and punch a padded man... so think of him. Offer up a little positive thought.

Also, my parents cat is no longer a cat. He has become a manatee. (The shoe is for scale)

Love, Kaley

Love, Love, Love

Well, the sermon at church this week got me a-thinking.

I've spent many blog posts letting people in on the fact that my heart probably could be described with this verse from the Grinch song:

You're a foul one, Mr. Grinch.

You're a nasty, wasty skunk.

Your heart is full of unwashed socks

Your soul is full of gunk.

Mr. Grinch.

You could just white out the "Grinch" and insert "Kaley" and voila! A completely accurate description of myself. Most of my gunk consists of selfishness and a skewed Western view of justice and entitlement. The Pastor talked of putting others first (a novel idea!):

Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves.

Romans 12:10

I hear that and I think... oh yeah sure that's easy enough. But when I really get to thinking about it, my heart goes "Uh, that theory sucks!" I remember myself getting so angry at our PTA last year for cheating me out of 30 some dollars. So I wrote them a firm letter telling them how they were wrong and bogus. Is that really love? I think not. Love would have involved forgiveness. Where is the justice in that? Everyone else got 30 more dollars than me. But one thing my mom pointed out to me really got me thinking. God's love for us isn't just. I did nothing to deserve the forgiveness and love and mercy that He pours on me everyday. I mean NOTHING. Every time I think "That doesn't seem fair" I need to think of the sacrifice that was made for me.

Sure, there are lots of things that I love. I love my iMac. I love Ann Taylor Loft. I really love Harry Potter, but do I love the ones closest to me? Do I love strangers and acquaintances and colleagues with the love Christ showed me?

"'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind'; and 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'"

Luke 10:27

It seems doable, but somehow I always end up doing something "Grinchy". Which is when I remember, thank goodness the love of the Lord is unjust. I'm glad I don't get what I deserve.

Love, Kaley

Bird watching.

I've got a confession. I love birds. I mostly love hawks, but I do love me some waterfowl. Now, this love is no precursor to knowledge. I know a little bit about birds and animals from Planet Earth and the Wildlife Fact Files binder I had in late elementary school. However, I find that when you know a little about birds you can basically lie to others to make yourself look knowledgeable. I mean, I know a few things. I can tell a juvenile Great Blue Heron from a Snowy White Egret (It's in their beak and leg color!) I know that there is a Red Shouldered Hawk frequenting 97 and I also can identify a Red Tailed Hawk on command. I think I could tell you the difference between a black vulture and turkey vulture and maybe distinguish between a Grackle and a Brown headed Cow bird.

So imagine my surprise when this jacked up bird started nesting in my front lawn... and I didn't know what it was! Imagine my distress! If only I had bought Audubon's field guide!

This bird looked like a heron, but it wasn't big enough to be a great one. So today I decided to sit down and Google this problem out.

Apparently, we have a "Little Heron" nesting in our yard. I don't know if it's a Little Blue Heron, a Little Green Heron, or even a Little Striated Heron... but a Little Heron it is. Well actually I ruled out the striated one because those live in Malaysia. Forgive me for not being able to work out the species. This is why I should subscribe to an online encyclopedia. Maybe on my first day back tomorrow I'll take a moment and look it up in my favorite reference book- The Great Bird Encyclopedia.

Oh- and let's have a moment of silence because shortly after we discovered his identity one of the Little Heron's lay dead in the yard. At least his mate survived!

Love, Kaley

Insomnia

I have a verifiable case of insomnia caused by marital separation. This is probably the worst case I have ever had. I haven't gone to bed before midnight since I got back from California-but the latest I stayed up was 4:30. I'm attributing this to a variety of factors. First, it has been almost a year since Nick went into OCS. We are now facing a year of living apart. Also, California was the most time I've spent with him since June. I guess you could say that I miss my husband.

This is the first time we moved. It made me very sad.

It's an odd feeling. I'll move in November. I don't feel here nor there. What's life here without Nick? What's life in California when it's not home? I feel like I'm on a seesaw. I want to cherish every moment spent in my house, with my family, with my friends... but then I am just DYING to start life out west with Nick! Enough of that Navy wife spattle-

I got a long term sub teaching job at my old school. I'm going in completely blind. I don't know my schedule. I don't know my students. However, I am completely thankful to have only been unemployed for two weeks. God is good. I'm teaching a full load of special education children. Sometimes I lie awake and just think about how I'm going to do that- but then other times I just pick out my outfits I'm going to wear.

Well, hopefully I'll go to sleep in only a few more hours!

Love, Kaley

Best Looking Storage Unit in Town!

I've done it. I've ordered my PB couch. And then the bank froze my account because they were shocked that I would buy something from Pottery Barn. (Don't worry, I called and took care of it) However, since I don't move to California until November it's going straight into my storage unit. Along with all my photos, television, decorative items, and lamps.

Here is a taste of what I got:

I actually bought this in "Stone".

And there you have it. My house... perhaps minus the sisal rug and all the ritzy accessories.

Love, Kaley

I've done it!

I've done it. I've applied to be a substitute teacher. Now hopefully they will hire me on as soon as possible and I won't be unemployed anymore!!

I'm not going to lie. These two days of unemployment have been a little tough. I keep thinking... I am not making ANY money right now!! I have bills! I'm feeling a little put out the Navy right now. I had to give up my job and the hopes of getting a job in California are... slim.

In trying times like these I will sing this song in my head that I still remember from middle school concert choir.

"You've got to accentuate the positive

Eliminate the negative

Latch on to the appositive

Don't mess with Mr. In Between.

To illustrate

My last remark

Jonah and the Whale

Noah and the Ark

What did they do

Just when everything looked so stark

Man they said you gotta..."

You get the gist.

Love, Kaley

Musings.

Sometimes it is hard to look like you are 15 years old. Here are some reasons.

• People think your husband is a child molester.
• Strangers think your coworker is your babysitter.
• Funny looks as you travel on airplanes alone... without an unaccompanied minor sign "What's that little girl doing without her mother?!"
• Having to show two valid ID's to prove you can have that raspberry vodka lemonade.
• Maybe not wanting to call your mom in public. (I love you mom!)

You might think I'm exaggerating, but all of these things have happened to me.

My Grandpa?!

My Babysitter?!

Next Muse:

I want to live in this little town house in Point Loma. I'm a little on the fence about it- but there is a cupboard under the stairs. (Don't get the Potter reference TP?) I'm thinking about putting up a little sign there. Maybe something that includes "Little Whinging" and "Surrey". Somehow I think my husband will veto that.

Final Musing:

I'm allergic to something in California. I know, the irony is killing me as well. Maryland is basically plagued with pollen and I prosper here. California- the land of weeds and desert brush? Done in! So here are the things I may be allergic to(according to my research on weather.com):

• Daffodil-not likely
• Quack Grass- uhm, not that.
• Quacking Aspen- Maybe. It doesn't grow in the southeast. Is MD southeast?
• Queen Palm- This is it! This is my allergy! It grows in SoCal, Florida, and the tropics!

So I'm allergic to Palm trees. Pardon my jumping to conclusions but my throat is sore and my eye has turned RED. So red in fact that I'm sure the pothead next to me on the plane thought me a fellow toker. (Uhm, if any of my references are "whack" excuse my ignorance or naivete)

Proof of my allergies. Nick told me to get eye drops. Since this is day three with inflamed palm tree eye I might just give in and treat it. We will see.

Love, Kaley

West Coast

There are things about the west coast that cause my head to spin.  There is traffic, there are hills, there are hippies.  Just lots of things.  I feel like I should be wearing fringed boots.  

For example, "Sweet Home Alabama" came on the radio today.  It felt wrong, wrong, wrong.  California music would consist of some Emo or maybe some Lady Gaga.  Now when "Sweet Home Alabama" came on in Mississippi I thought "Yes, this is the sound of the south".  

I went to a mall today in "Fashion Valley"-that's right, they've named a valley after fashion- that had the following stores: Hermes, Gucci, Armani, Tiffany's, Jimmy Choo, Henry Bendel, Kate Spade...  I felt like people might be looking at me weird b/c my sunglasses were not large and circular enough.  You wanna see some big old praying mantis sun glasses?  Welcome to Cali.  

Other things are weird about California too(hence my facial expression).  Besides the fact that the government is imploding and there was a brushfire in the median strip.  (The air is very dry here) Did you know that the speed limit is like always 75 on the highway, but driving a Yukon at such a high speed?  Let's just say it's dangerous.  Also, people will beep at you.  For no reason.  Literally.  People just beep here.  

However, I am certain I can live in this great state because they have a J. Crew Factory Outlet.  And what else does a girl need to be happy?  

I'll be watching the "Rachel Zoe Project" to prepare myself for my move.  I think her vapidity will be beneficial to soak in.

I'll leave you with a little taste of the Navy life.  Nick had to read a chart and do... something navy esque with it.  That something made him unhappy.  Ha ha.

Love from the West Coast!

Kaley

A Hot Mess in San Diego!!

As you may know, I am currently spending the week with my Husband in San Diego. While he is at class I am forced to drive on my own and find things to do to entertain myself. Luckily I met another Dewey wife and she has offered to entertain me for one day... but those other four days... We'll see.

So, with much trepidation I dropped Nick off at his class and drove away. In a GMC Yukon. In San Diego. At Rush Hour. My GPS thought it would be a good idea to take me onto the freeway. Do you have any idea what a Californian freeway is like at 8 in the morning? I'm used to driving a little Del Sol (half a honda civic) or my mini SUV the Rav-4. Put me in a super sized Yukon at rush hour? Let's just say it's lucky I didn't curse out loud. I took a picture of what my GPS wanted me to do. It's blurry- but it wanted me to go in circles. It wasn't being nice. It was like "Ba ha, your husband isn't here to protect you now lady! You are at my infinite mercy!"

On another note Nick and I went apartment shopping. We decided we want to live in a house in Pacific Beach, but we're about... 1 million dollars short. I'm going to the housing office today to check out our options there. I found a very cute apartment called River Front in Mission Valley. It felt like home instantly-it felt like where Nick and I used to live. BUT it didn't have granite or super nice fixtures. We also found a town home. I think it would be pretty luxurious to have stairs. We will see. I just want to buy a couch and make a home with my husband.

Enjoy some pictures of my future home and start planning your trip to visit me next spring/summer. Seriously, we'll have a guest room and everything!

This is a cave in La Jolla... or the cave where Voldemort hid one of his Horcruxes. Your call.

Also in La Jolla. Don't you want to come visit? There were people snorkeling in speedo's. What is not to love?

This is at the beach on Navsta Coronado. I know you're wondering and the answer is: Yes. It was that fun.

Until next time (probably tomorrow when Nick is at class)

Kaley

Crabby

I'm from Maryland. I know how to pick a crab. I own crab memorabilia. Unfortunately, I don't eat crab meat. I don't like seafood, but my Marylander pride is such that I learned how to pull apart their bodies and give meat to those in my vicinity.
Well, as you saw earlier, last week I went crabbing with the Tadpoles. I'm sure I haven't been crabbing for nigh on ten years. Mostly because I "hate being outside" and "avoid the water". I haven't encountered a live crab for quite some time. After crabbing I was left with many questions and came to this conclusion:

Crabs are belligerent.

We caught five. The biggest one mercilessly tore the back fin off of a small one. Just tore it off! I think I threw up in my mouth a little bit. As I am relating this story to my husband I asked him how much it hurts if a crab pinches your finger. You see, Nick used to steam crabs at a local neighborhood seafood shack. He said it hurt and proceeded to tell me he would rip the claw off of the offending crab. And the claw did not loose it's grip immediately.

Maybe some of you true Marylanders that give two hoots about crabs can tell me the answer to this question. Google failed me as did the Chesapeake Bay Foundation.

Does it hurt crabs when their claws are ripped mercilessly from their bodies?

I would like to leave you with this thought. Crabs are aggressive, have thick exoskeletons, and large pinchers. What if crabs were the size of elephants? Do you think they would be the world's most dangerous creatures??!!

Love, Kaley

West Coast Va-cay

I am very excited to visit San Diego for the second time in my short life span. Nick has a class in SD so I am going to meet him there and look for apartments! I am very excited. I said that already, but I repeated it because it is so true. This could very well be the impetus for a furniture shopping spree as I find out where I am going to live. I've already looked at a few apartments online and have a few lined up to look at. Most of them are next to shopping malls so that when Nick leaves I can console myself with some retail therapy.

Some good things about San Diego

• The forecast for this week was upper 70's and has only deviated by about three degrees.
  
• No rain this time of year. Ever.
  
• Many, many restaurants.
• Sea Lions.
  
• That gelato place in La Jolla.
  
• Seeing my HUSBAND!!!!!!! Woo hoo!!
  

Only three months until I move!! (I look upon this with much excitement and a little trepidation)

Love, Kaley